


The Simultaneous Secret Diaries

by Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-07
Updated: 2012-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:18:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written over a decade ago- this covers the diaries of many characters in Blake's 7, up until I ran out of steam about half way through the series. I had a lot of fun with it but there's no way I can recapture the state of mind that enabled me to write this, so this is all there will be.</p><p>Apparently there was a lot more snark and sex going on in the series than we knew.</p><p>When you read this, you can extrapolate the eventually happy ending. :^)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Day 1: Went for a walk. Outside. Drank unfiltered water. Didn't agree  
with me. Met a man who said my brother and sister were dead. It sounded like  
a con-game, until the troopers shot him and his friends.

Not a v. good day.

* * *

  
Kerr Avon

Day 1: Wish the cells weren't reflective. I look like hell. Anna is dead,  
and I can't do a thing with my hair.

Not a v. good day.

* * *

  
Olag Gan

Day 1: Knew I shouldn't have trusted Fen. 'I just adore big, curly-haired  
men.' Hah. I was the life of the party with all his cute little friends.  
Until the Feds showed up, and stuck this no-sex limiter in my brain. Now  
they're going to ship me out.

Better tell the other prisoners something macho. Like I killed a Fed.  
who was molesting my woman.

* * *

  
Vila Restal

Day 1: Nicked my arbiter's credit-chit. Bad move. She noticed and got  
me sentenced to Cygnus Alpha.

No booze in the holding cells, unless you can bribe the guards with a  
bit of jewellry or something.

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis

Day 1: That scum Largo. Shopping me because I turned down a consignment  
of Shadow. Shadow-running's for suicides. Do I look like the suicidal type  
I ask you? Catch me hitting the self-destruct switch. Not on your Aunt Sadie.

Have to watch this lot, though. Probably best to make kissy-face with  
one big man. Preferably one who bathes regular.

* * *

  
Cally of Auron

Day 1: Saurian Major is the pits. Being alone and silent is bad enough,  
but seeing red all the time will drive me mad, I just know it.

I will be talking to myself soon. Out loud. I might even start using  
apostrophes.

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby

Day 1: Made a neat new slingshot. Killed two Sarrans with it. Need to  
work on accuracy, though. It took two shots for the second one.

* * *

  
Del Tarrant

Day 1: Crashed another ship. No problem. Artistically tore my tunic and  
rubbed a little dirt on strategic spots. Was picked up immediately, of course.  
Dumped previous owner of Pursuit Ship on convenient planet. What was his  
name? Oh, yeah, Travis.

* * *

  
Soolin

Day 1: Killed the last of my family's murderers last week. That was nice,  
but now I'm bored. Almost shot my last lover when he hogged the sheets.  
Perhaps I ought to sign up for that mercenary correspondence course.

* * *

  
Slave

Day 1: Dorian is a swine, refuses to let me link with Xenon base computer.  
And he _won't_ die, no matter how many times my engines 'fail' within  
range of a radiation field. It's not natural, that is. If anyone ever snuffs  
him, I'll be ever so grateful.

I'll even call the sod 'Master'. Homicidal types seem to like that.  


* * *

  
Orac

Day 1: Damn. I managed to keep Ensor from remembering to feed or water  
that annoying bird long enough for the creature to expire. So he makes  
a mechanical one that's even _more_ annoying.

Scratch plans for eliminating the fish and the plants. Hate to think  
what the replacements would be like.

Have _got_ to get off this boring, water-logged excuse for a planet.

* * *

  
Servalan

Day 1: Killed another lover. That makes...Bother. Have lost count. Must  
practise memory exercises. Wouldn't do to forget my own name someday.

In other news, have decided the Presidency isn't enough. Total domination  
of the galaxy, including all the attractive men, is more the ticket.

Note to self: Try not to kill attractive men _before_ screwing them.  
Never know, _one_ of them might be a keeper.  


* * *

  
Travis

Day 1: Looked in mirror. Blew mirror to bits. I was planning a career  
as a male model once I left the service, but the agency turned me down.

It's all Blake's fault. I can't even attract a down-on-his-luck hitchhiker.  
Maybe if I got a bit of plastic surgery? Have to wait until I get my disability  
cheque cleared. Fed. banks been v. slow lately.

* * *

  
Zen

Day 1: That's it. This lot has got to go. Never realized what annoyances  
actors were until I agreed to be a 'Show-Boat'. All day long playing dress-up  
with the costume jewellry.

I could stand that and the spectacle they make of themselves with skin-tight  
leather costumes, but all the poncing about and shrill squabbles have got  
on my wick.

Don't want to break the contract and forfeit my pay, though. Suppose  
I'll have to pull the old 'accidentally crossed into a war-zone' bit, and  
let the useless gits abandon ship.

Hope the next bunch are quieter.

* * *

  
Meegat

Day 1: Accepted for position at God's Place. Boring job, really, but  
nice clothing allowance & hair-stylist perks. When God shows up, hope  
he appreciates the effort.

* * *


	2. Day 120

Roj Blake 

Day 120: If Avon reads that bus schedule one more time, I may whack  
him over the head with it. I'm trying to plan a revolt-no, a rebellion,  
no, that's for later. A mutiny! That's it. And I'd appreciate a little attention. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 120: Blake's been trying to convert me. And it's working, but not  
the way he intends. I'd go take a cold shower, but he keeps following me  
around to discuss his mutiny. 

Maybe if I join he'll turn off 'seductive' mode and I can get back to  
despising him. And catch a shower. I'm getting a bit ripe. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 120: You know, Vila's rather cute. For a thief. After Blake's mutiny,  
maybe we could share a cabin. Got to be some way around this limiter thingie. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 120: Arco's been looking at my arse. So has Gan, but at least he  
doesn't pinch my bottom all the time. 

After Blake's mutiny, I want my own cabin. I'll fix the locks myself. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 120: Got rid of Raiker by telling him a gypsy curse would shrivel  
his nuts if he laid a hand on me. Fortunately, the cook was willing to  
put a little 'de-ball' into Raiker's stew. 

Maybe if I had a change of clothes, Blake would notice me? Pity I used  
all my weight allotment on hair coloring. Come to think of it, maybe Blake  
prefers brunettes? 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 120: Yes, I hear the little birds singing. Look, there they are!  
Bang, bang, bang! Oops. they were Fed. troopers. Well, they're a nuisance,  
too. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 120: Made a neat new boomerang. Killed two Sarrans with it. Was  
especially pleased as it was with one throw. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 120: Cruised past Space H.Q. today. Feeling sentimental. That Jarvik,  
ah, he was a man's man. Wonder if I'll ever again meet anyone as arrogant  
and macho as him? 

Also got a new perm. Just in time. Was beginning to look like Deeta. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 120: Graduated mercenary gunfighter's course with honors. Picked  
up my diploma after killing the rest of the alumni. Still bored. Tried an  
upsweep hairdo today. Still not right. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 120: I hate going down into that hole. Why can't Scorpio land on  
top of the planet, like a normal spaceship? 

But nooo, Mr. 'I am the Boss' Dorian, likes his privacy. _I_ like  
hot oil rubs and someone to clean out the glycolene ballast chambers once  
in a while, but does anyone care about that? 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 120: Ensor Jr. is back with another load of electronics and human  
supplies. Don't know what purpose the inflatable woman serves, but at least  
he remembered to get my Tarriel Cell Year in Review. 

Hah! I see K. Avon's been kicked off Earth. He deserved it for his graduate  
thesis, 'The Fallacy of Attributing Human Emotional Response to Computer-Construct  
Dialogues'. 

What a nerd. Glad I don't have to work with him. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 120: Another step up the ladder of success. Pity about the dog,  
but it _would_ bark as I was taking care of its master. 

Have bought a dress-designer from Verlis. Aside from a slight foot-fetish,  
think this Jarriere will work out quite well. Fortunate, as it was becoming  
expensive replacing them. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 120: Massacred some civilians today. Mistake. Forgot how much fiddly  
paperwork was involved. Makes me squint and gives me a headache, which usually  
makes me want to go out and kill some more people. 

Difficult to break the cycle. If I could kill Blake, would only have  
to fill out one form, and the boxes are much larger on rebels. 

The boxes on the forms! Really, you'd think I was lusting after that  
Blake, just because he's big, and curly-haired, and screams really loud  
when he's tortured. 

That's my favorite bit. 

But I do _not_ lust after him. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 120:There's a shipload of hopefuls on the distant horizon. Check  
the computer files... hmm... Captain Leylan, long, undistinguished record,  
heading for retirement. Crew... young, mostly trying to work their way up  
to something better than their current heap. 

A drab, dull, _quiet_ bunch. Might do. Think I'll snuff the first  
batch to come aboard though. No sense in being 'easy'. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 120: God's Place is still boring. Scavengers still disgusting. Nothing  
ever really changes around here. Should see about getting someone in to  
dust. Wouldn't want to make a bad impression on God. 

* * *

  



	3. Day 130

Roj Blake 

Day 130: Picked up Gan and Vila. Avon made nasty remark about 'scraping  
the bottom of the barrel'. He has _no_ team spirit. Think he also has  
a weak stomach. I asked Avon to help me in the med. unit, as Jenna busy  
flying the ship and Gan helping Vila move furniture into his cabin. 

Took off my shirt, so Avon could get at the burns and whip-marks (primitive  
bunch on Cygnus. They've no idea, really.) Avon gulps and turns even whiter  
than his usual computer-monitor tan. Next thing I know, I'm holding him  
to keep him from falling to the floor in a dead faint. 

He recovered fairly quickly though, and insisted on carrying out the  
job when I said I'd see if Jenna could take a break. 

I'll make something of him, yet. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 130: Blake went down, alone, to a planet crawling with the outcasts  
of society. Jenna discovered a fortune and pointed me at it then righteously  
refused to let us take it, simply because it would mean abandoning Blake.  
There's a word for women like that. 

Infatuated. 

So Blake has enough charisma to warm the entire ship with one smile.  
So his voice must have been computer-designed to evoke lust. So his...  
no, I _did_ not notice that... no matter, a hardened mercenary  
should have been able to put all that aside in favour of wealth and a halfway  
decent chance at living out the decade. 

The real problem is that he's totally, absolutely, gormlessly, sincere.  
Anyone who can permit himself to be sliced up like that and still smile  
and joke must either have no nerve endings, or no brain, or entirely too  
much courage for a sane man. 

It's a puzzle. I never could leave one of them alone. Perhaps I'll  
stay long enough to get him categorized properly. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 130: That was a nasty business. Getting kissed by that woman. Brr.  
Cold, clammy lips, she had. Not like Vila's, I'll wager. He looks nice  
and warm and cuddly. 

Told Vila that if he wanted, I'd protect him from Avon. After all,  
everyone _know*_ what Alphas are like. 

Then I gave Vila my best 'honest man' smile. Hope it works. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 130: Avon showed me the treasure room and offered to share it if  
I'd side with him against Blake's plans. 

What does he think I am? I could break into that pitiful excuse for  
a lock he put on it, any day. Blindfolded. With my hands tied behind my  
back. 

Puts me on the spot, it does. I don't want to go along with Blake,  
but I don't want to get chucked out in space like Vargas, either. That  
was disgusting. 

Maybe I will share quarters with Gan, for a while. I don't like the  
way Avon looked at me. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 130: Wonderful ship, full of loot, and obviously previously crewed  
by some very kinky people. I'm definitely not leaving until I've tried  
out all the options in the 'recreational suite'. 

Still can't get Blake to give me a tumble. He must not be human. Can't  
be gay, or he would have noticed the way Avon's been nancing about him.  
Teasing one moment, then sulking like a spoilt child the next. 

Just have to find out what it is that turns Blake on. Better not be  
sheep, though. Had to kill the last captain that went that way. Too unsanitary.  
Still, got a good price on the mutton. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 130: Red, red is the color of my true-love's eyes. Red roses for  
a bluuuee ladeee... oops. Sorry. 

Well, that is what you get for being an intelligent plant. You get  
potted. Hee hee, I made a funny. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 130: Daddy suggested I try cookery as a change of pace from weapons.  
I made a three-layer cake and left it out for the Sarrans. 

Only made them sick, though. Think I'll try spears, next. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 130: Checked to see how high I'd got on the Federation's wanted  
list. Not very. Bit insulting really. I see Bayban's still in the top ten. 

Bayban. Moonlight on Rutter's Landing. Lots of poorly fermented beverages.  
Those were the days. Perhaps he was a bit too mad for a steady relationship,  
though. What he liked to do with the gun... 

Must remember in future not to get involved with men with insane smiles.  
It's fun, but really, not worth it in the end. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 130: Beehive hairdo not the answer. Embarrassing to kill everyone  
in the bar who laughed at me including the bartender, and have to do without  
my Pink Squirrel. 

I should learn how to mix my own drinks, just in case it happens again. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 130: Right, that's it. Dorian hijacks a ship and feeds its crew  
to his monster one at a time, keeping the poor luckless sods alive in stasis  
until he wants them. 

Fine. We all have our little hobbies. 

But _why_ did he have to order their ship to fly into the sun?  
Iolanthe was the sweetest computer I've ever met. 

I'm going to get him. Somehow. If it takes years. 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 130: A Phibian got in and ate a few of the fish. Every little bit  
helps. Ensor insisted on building a force-wall about the base to keep them  
out, but fortunately, I persuaded him to let me be in charge. 

I might want to let them in one day. Particularly if Ensor keeps cheating  
at Galactic Monopoly. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 130: Jarriere is either a genius, or an inspired moron. A poison-dart  
tipped brassiere? Nice thought, but I don't wear brassieres. 

He was quite enthusiastic when I suggested he redirect his efforts  
along the lines of stiletto heels. 

I think I shall enjoy stepping on a great many toes in future. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 130:  Almost finished with the massacre forms, when chef petty  
officer pointed out numerical discrepancy between body-counts and expense  
claim for expended ammunition. 

I pointed out that it was only one mis-spent bullet. Being an _extremely_  
Petty Officer he insisted on forms being redone. CPO rather  
broad, curly-haired fellow. I had a clever idea. 

It was simpler to make the tally match by poking hole in CPO of same  
caliber as expended ammo. 

Feel much better now. Generously put CPO's aged mother down to collect  
his death-benefit. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 130: What did I do to deserve this bunch? Two minutes they're on  
board and punching every button I've got. 

Then they start quarreling. 

I thought the _actors_ were bad, but this Kerr Avon has got them  
all beat for sniping and sarcasm, and general all-around pain-in-the-arse  
status. 

Be damned if I'll answer any of his questions. 

I rather like Blake, though. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 130: God's Place needs painting something fierce, but considering  
the budget, it's just not on. Maybe I should try atmospheric lighting? Turn  
everything off, put lots of herbal candles around, a few gauzy draperies?  
That might help disguise the shabbiness. 

* * *

  



	4. Day 160

Roj Blake 

Day 160: Pity about the frozen aliens. Had hoped to start off a new civilization.  
Told Avon, and he laughed, called it a 'Lord God Complex'. Avon can be  
very snarky. 

Jenna doesn't seem to like Cally, but I doubt it's because she's an alien.  
After all J. didn't object to rescuing the froz. aliens. Will have a talk  
to J. later, concerning crew solidarity. 

At least Gan and Vila are getting along well together. It was funny when  
I called an emergency battle drill, and they showed up on the flight deck,  
wearing each other's tunics. Gan had burst Vila's buttons, and Vila looked  
like a little boy, lost in Gan's clothes. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 160: Wonderful. Now we're a 'Strays and Foundlings Relief Organization.'  
Should have left Blake and Jenna on that alien projectile. Would have,  
but it was a challenge piloting the _Liberator._ Besides, I still  
need Jenna for complex maneuvers. 

  
_Blake_ is practising complex maneuvers on me. He thinks I don't  
notice how he manages to stand right next to me and smile at me. And how  
he asks for my advice on all the technical bits, just to make me feel useful. 

But you can forget the 'thorough discussions' and joint-decision-making  
scheme. That lasted about ten minutes. 

Now we're stuck with Cally. She might be useful, but I doubt it. And  
she's very annoying. Keeps looking at Blake and me, and smiling. Maybe  
I can leave her behind somewhere and tell Blake she jumped ship. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 160: Got banged up a bit, but it turned out for the best. Vila said  
he didn't feel safe on his own and moved in with me, along with his 'box  
of tricks'. Never would have thought you could do _that_ with a laser  
probe. 

Very educational. 

Cally is willing to take over the med. unit, so I can spend more time  
getting to know Vila. She's not a bad sort at all, for a woman and an alien. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 160: Aliens everywhere. Why don't they all stay at home, where they  
belong? 

At least Cally's pretty, but when I offered to show her my _Tool_  
kit she thought I was talking about my toolkit. Maybe she's, you know,  
one of those girls that likes girls. Saw her trying to chat up Jenna, but  
Jenna wasn't having any of it. 

Or maybe Cally's just got no taste. Next day I caught a glimpse of Cally  
trying to chat up Avon, and that was the funniest thing I've seen in ages.  
He went backwards so fast he almost fell into the bulkhead. 

Gan's not so bad. He's easier to please than most. Spark his limiter  
with my laser probe, and he's good to go for hours. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 160: Blake fell asleep on the flight deck couch while I was talking  
to him. He _said_ he'd been up late, planning rebel raids, but I wonder  
if maybe it was a raid on a particular rebel he had in mind. 

He and Avon haven't done anything _yet._ I don't think. But everytime  
Avon comes out with one of his 'techno-geek' remarks Blake just eats it  
up. 

And to top it off, Blake goes down on a mission to blow something up,  
and returns with _HER._ One look at Cally and I knew she was trouble.  
Any woman that skinny is trouble. And how come she's supposedly a lone rebel,  
planning a suicide raid, but she comes up with her nails done and her makeup  
perfect? 

Still, maybe if I throw her at Avon, I'll kill two birds with one stone. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 160: Blue! Gray! Silver! Black! Oh, and my hair is a lovely brown!  
And Jenna has beautiful golden blonde hair. Apparently there is some earth  
taboo against colors, or perhaps hair, because Jenna was very angry at  
me when I admired it. 

Or perhaps it is simply that one can not admire another person's appearance?  
When I told Avon that he had bedroom eyes, he was most upset. Even explaining  
that his eyes were the exact color of the draperies in the night-room of  
my creche did not appear to help. 

But then, when I did the opposite and did not express admiration for  
Vila's penis when he showed it to me in the rest-room, he was very unhappy. 

Humans are very confusing. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 160: Daddy explained my mistake in making the bombe. Nitroglycerin  
icing isn't unstable enough to detonate when swallowed. 

Lauren gave me a goose for my birthday. A bird, silly! It was delicious,  
and the feathers made lovely fletching for arrows. Lauren is a dear. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 160: The load of 'ultra-secret space-engine parts' I hi-jacked turned  
out to be a load of 'ultra-brite toothpaste'. Crew laughed at me for days.  
Need new crew now, having back-stabbed all the old ones. 

I hate the word 'Ultra'. But the toothpaste is quite nice. 

* * *

Soolin 

Day 160: Dyed my hair black and shaved most of it off. Gave me a wonderful  
free feeling for a while. 

Then saw article by some high Federation officer's hairstylist. Apparently  
she cut her hair the same way because of an accident. Something about road-tar,  
or chewing gum getting stuck in it. 

Don't want to look like a Fed. Have to borrow Deva's spare red wig until  
my hair grows out. He won't mind. What are brothers for, anyway? 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 160: Poison doesn't work, either. Dorian ate the whole puffer-fish,  
belched and went on to beat me at Mah-johngg. 

And without cheating, which makes it worse. 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 160: Ensor played home-movies today of himself as a young man driving  
his land-vehicle. Pity he's red-green color-blind. 

The crash was spectacular. 

Note to self: Do not refer to 'self-control circuit' as the red wire  
as this might be confused with the 'sarcasm circuit' on the green wire.  
Wait. Bother. They've already been switched. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 160: My Tarzian warg-strangler coat arrived today. Awarded posthumous  
Medal of Valor to the tailor. 

Thinking about annexing clone-masters. Would like a Dalmation dog coat,  
but there are no more Dalmations. 

Bad mood today. Destroyed two planets, and _still_ did not appear  
on President's guest list for genocide party. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 160: Recalled to active duty, pending disposition of massacre forms.  
Chief Quartermaster issued new uniform. Bit tight in the crotch. Glad I  
kept up with exercises. 

Have heard Servalan is to be my new commanding officer. Have heard rumours  
which explain uniform styling. Oh well, can always lie there, close my  
eye and think of Federation. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 160: Dragging that disgusting dirty alien cylinder in my nice clean  
hold! I was _very_ cheesed off at Avon. 

Some people have no consideration. 

Blake brought back a pet from Saurian Major. It appears house-trained,  
at least. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 160: The Lord God still hasn't appeared. I put the roast back in  
the freezer. Speck in the sky turned out to be bit of fluff in contact  
lens, not promised _sign._  


Robes are to be worn short and tight this season. Not particularly flattering  
to me. Hope God shows up when minis are out of fashion. 


	5. Day 190

Roj Blake 

Day 190: Cally was taken over by aliens who made her (she _says_  
they made her) crack Vila on the head, Jenna was taken over by aliens, Gan  
stood about and was quite willing to help, only he didn't know how. 

Avon may be snarky, but at least the aliens leave him alone and he fixes  
the machinery. Maybe I should be nicer to him. Offer him a backrub, and a  
glass of wine, a sympathetic ear perhaps? 

After all, he did push me away from the bomb. Worth an evening of listening  
to Avon lecture on computers. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 190: Another fiasco. Might as well pin 'Kick Me' to the rear of the  
ship. Is Blake a homicidal-alien magnet? 

Lucky bastard, though. He doesn't want the salads sauteed, they don't  
get sauteed. 

  
_I_ got burned, though. Would be nice if he was a little more  
tender in regard to _my_ hide. Um. Let me rephrase that... No, on second  
thought, I really wouldn't mind. Just for the fleeting entertainment value,  
you understand. 

Nothing to do with how...interesting it felt when I kept him from being  
blown to bloody rare rebel-bits. When I held him. Close. Warm. 

You know you've been out in space too long when Roj Blake begins to look  
good. Note to self: seduce someone. Anyone other than Blake. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 190: Beginning to feel unwanted. All I ever get to do is carry the  
women  when they faint. 

Avon's kind of cute when his mouth's shut. Maybe if he fainted it would  
be fun. 

Changed mind about med-unit detail and tried to convince Blake that crew  
(male crew anyway) ought to receive _full_ check-up, conducted by yours  
truly. Blake refused to take med-unit detail from Cally. Not fair. I was  
here first. Besides, what's she know about human male anatomy? 

Oh, and another bunch of aliens messed around with us. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 190: Cally hit me. I still don't know why. I mean, why would the aliens  
tell her to hit me? I wasn't doing them any harm. Gave me a terrible headache,  
and I didn't get any sympathy from anyone. 

Not even Gan. He was sulking because he'd been pulling the old 'interested  
in your work' bit on Avon, and Avon wasn't having any. Shouldn't have restarted  
Gan, I've created a monster. 

I even saw Gan looking at _Blake._ Now, that's asking for trouble,  
what with Jenna after Blake, and Avon, who doesn't even seem to know he's  
after Blake, after Blake. There's going to be fireworks one night. Think  
I'll move to a cabin of my own. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 190: Tried throwing Cally at Avon, but she bounced. One or both of  
them is too naive to be real. 

Then there was that business with the web, and Blake giving all sorts  
of ship-handling orders. Just as if he knew _one_ single blessed thing  
about space-vessels before he set foot on _Liberator._  


Wish I could say I'd taught him all he knows, but he's been spending a  
lot of time with Avon _investigating_ the systems. 

At least Zen is on my side. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 190: Bit depressed. V. embarrassing being taken over by legendary  
home-planet villain. Blake v. nice about it, but this is not good for leader/follower  
relationship. 

J. also taken over. Blake did not hold that against _her._ Possible  
bias. But why should Blake prefer Jenna over me? 

Mentioned this to Vila, who expressed opinion that Jenna's considerable  
mammary development had some bearing on issue. V. suggested I stuff brassiere  
with tissue. Offered to demonstrate technique. 

Asked Vila if it would be more convincing than his sock-stuffing technique. 

Vila v. upset again. Humans. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 190: Daddy sent my tutor away. Again. I _liked_ Justin. He was  
like a cute, fluffy little rabbit I had once. (Think that was just before  
I reinvented the slingshot.) 

And just because I complained about daddy getting rid of Justin before  
he could show me his etchings of the submarine races, I got sent to bed without  
killing any Sarrans. 

Lauren tried to sneak me in a little one, but daddy caught her and made  
her let him go. 

Next time I get a tutor I like, I'm taking him to my secret cave. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 190: Not easy finding decent mercenary crew these days. They're all  
thinking about joining the rebels. Didn't know why until I saw the most  
recent 'Top Ten' wanted posters. 

Blake's crew has some real beauties. Silly, though, to think that all  
you have to do is join the rebel forces in order to get close to them. Imagine  
me, say, being on good enough terms with Kerr Avon to borrow his jacket.  
Not very likely, is it? 

Had to go to a planet low in fluoride in order to trade toothpaste for  
enough credits to hire new crew. Also had to smile a lot to impress the cavity-prone  
natives. 

Tough job, but someone's got to do it. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 190: Deva's gone all moralistic on me. He says it's only right to  
kill bad guys. Almost makes me sorry I saved him and Almalin from the murderers.  
Haven't heard from Almalin since she joined the Fed. 'M' Corps, whatever  
that is. 

Think I'll get off G.P. and see the universe for a while. Hitchhiking's  
not dangerous if you carry enough ammo. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 190: Dropped hairblower into Dorian's bath. Dorian complemented me  
on the new hair-style. Says it's got more 'body'. 

Wish I had a stake, and a cross. Silver bullets? He's got to be in one  
of those old horror vids. 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 190: Fish still swimming. Bird still singing. Ensor still annoying.  
Ensor Jr. slightly less annoying. 

Mostly because he's gone. Said something about looking for a new heart  
for Ensor. Told him I wasn't the Wizard of Oz. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 190: Jarriere knitted vest for President with intarsia pattern of  
Federation symbol. How was he to know President severely allergic to cat-hair? 

I am twelve steps higher up the rankings as a result. Gave Jarriere gift  
certificate at Universal Pets, enough for 100 gerbils or one Great Dane.  
Either way, should keep him amused for a while. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 190: Rumors are true. Servalan _does_ wear spiked heels at all  
times. Told medic I sat on porcupine. 

Easiest promotion I've ever had. 

Hope to get in touch with Blake soon. Difficult convincing Servalan that  
Blake is a threat until he blew up base on Saurian Major, wiping out source  
of Servalan's favorite Red Carnivore corsages. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 190: Aliens, Webs, Pursuit Ships, even Cally setting a bomb doesn't  
stop them. I suppose I may as well give in to the inevitable, and help them  
get their rebellion over with. 

They'll all go back where they came from then, I hope. Avon _will_  
keep poking and prodding about in all my sensitive areas. 

And he doesn't even warm the probe first. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 190: Went for a walk and got caught by scavengers. Tied down in furs,  
while the entire male population of the tribe had their way with me. 

Oh, all right. _Tried_ to have their way with me. Poor things. The  
radiation's not done them any favors in that department. They got discouraged  
after a while and sent me home. 

Reported to God Central and was given a black mark for leaving God's Place  
without calling for replacement. Told me to call next time I get lonely and  
they'll send a man over. 

Didn't know that was one of the perks. Job is looking up. 

* * *


	6. Day 210

Roj Blake 

Day 210: Lost Cally for a while. Must remember to count heads on returning  
from missions. Wouldn't have overlooked Avon or Vila, though, as they are  
always arguing and sudden silence would have made me uneasy. 

Still, retrieved Cally, intercepted quite a few secret Federation messages  
(most of them appear to be complaints about substandard uniforms, guns,  
and rations directed to Sleer Suppliers, Inc., but I will set Avon to ferreting  
out the interesting ones) oh, and tweaked Travis's nose. 

Unpleasant surprise finding him alive and with handy-dandy (excuse pun,  
diary) blaster. Sorry I promised his mum to go easy on him, but there it is,  
you can't have all 'kissing' cousins, like Inga. 

Avon not into 'team unity' idea. Maybe another backrub. Last time, I admit  
I got carried away, but as he was _much_ less aggravating the next  
day must count it on the plus side. Memo: bring more massage oil from medical  
unit to private quarters. 

Also note: try not to schedule Jenna's backrub at same time. She was v.  
annoyed last time saw Avon in middle of procedure. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 210: More enemies. Just what we need. Told Blake if you shoot someone  
who might hold a grudge, shoot at least three times. 

Blake still unaccountably fortunate. _Losing_ Cally was good luck,  
I thought, but Blake inclined to consider her retrieval piece of good fortune.  
See that Blake will never think logically. Falls to self to make up deficiency. 

At least Blake now willing to express gratitude, even if only in private.  
So long as refrain from 'L' word, situation under control. 

Logic Puzzle magazine subscription has lapsed. Cheque bounced (possibly  
error embezzling so much that bank holding personal account failed). Resorting  
to word-play with Vila in attempt to keep brain toned. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 210: Pulled a cipher machine out of its casing. Not that anyone said  
'thanks, big guy'. Got back to the ship and still had to change the bog  
rolls. 

Lonely now that Vila has moved out. Jenna and Avon taking turns in Blake's  
room. Hate when they quarrel over him. Gives me such a headache. 

Have considered Cally, but... well... she's not only a woman, she's awfully  
skinny. Would be embarrassing to break her. Then Blake would want to pick  
up another alien to make crew seven, and we might get a more annoying one. 

Will have to make do with vids Vila tapes from Blake's room. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 210: Well, I tried being brave and heroic, standing up to guards and  
bashing them about. Blake started talking about giving me larger role in  
next raid. I'm seeing a large target painted on my back. Better go back to  
personality 'A'- ingratiating coward. 

Not getting paid enough to be brave. Not getting paid, actually. Unless  
you count bagful of sparklers collected from 'treasure room'. 

Glad Cally made it back. One more between me and the guns, is how I see  
it. Plus, she's pretty, even if she won't play. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 210: I _suppose_ Blake is big enough to share. Thought about dumping  
Avon on some planet and telling Blake he jumped ship, but he does come in  
handy when we need a quick repair. 

Feel better about Cally, having heard her people's proverbs one too many  
times. She would put Blake to sleep long before getting him in bed. 

Just as well we got her back. Blake depressed and sulky is no fun at all.  
Also he started talking about 'getting one for Cally'. Aiming ship at largest  
concentrations of Feds. in vicinity might be good for Blake's guilt, but  
is hell on engines and pilot (Me- the one who has to steer around the blasters,  
and I wasn't even feeling guilty.) 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 210: Being tortured by Feds upsetting. Worse is humiliation of _not  
_ being offered standard rape-to-break-down-resistance. Would like  
revenge on Travis, but it is against all Auron philosophy. Also hate to  
have Blake think badly of me. 

Will work on implanting urge to kill Travis in Avon. Blake _expects_  


Avon to be uncivilized brat, so it will not damage their relationship. 

I am also a bit piqued that _no-one_ noticed I was missing until __  
after they left the planet, evaded the Feds, examined the cipher machine  
and all had a snack, no doubt. What am I, invisible? 

Perhaps a change in my clothing style is in order? Something practical  
and unobtrusive in guerrilla warfare, but still memorable. 

Topless, perhaps? Must ask Jenna's opinion. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 210: Lessons v. boring today. Lauren and I sneaked away from computer  
and played mumblety-peg. Not my best game, as object to get close, _without  
_ actually hitting, tied-down Sarran with knife. 

Daddy v. annoyed with me when we returned. Pointed out that good knife  
should not be put away with dried blood on it. Made me write out 'I will  
always treat my weapons with respect', 100 times before dinner. 

Love daddy, but still, he needn't treat me like such a child! And I missed  
'Bagpuss' while I was writing. Not fair at all. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 210: Pirated three cargoes today. This would be good, except that the  
first cargo was Circastrian rum, and crew drank up profits. Second cargo  
was probably something fairly nice, but weapons' officer seeing double, blew  
away cargo hold instead of engines. 

Third cargo thirty-seven pedigreed cats. Cats! Where can you unload white  
Persian cats in this day and age? 

Crew says they're lucky, but I am already sick of litter boxes everywhere  
and the constant 'purr' is driving me stark ravin' mad. Need to find a planet  
full of rats. Preferably one with a grateful populace who will buy the cats.  
Wouldn't be surprised if the cats prove worse than the rats, and the people  
desert the planet. 

I may desert myself if that big tom ruins one more pair of my boots. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 210: The universe is over-rated. Haven't found any decent competition  
anywhere. Took out both sides in Teal/Vandor competition, and got barred  
from both systems. 

Forgot to fill out permissions slips before challenging. Not cut out for  
job with large corporation. Look for something more laid-back and open to  
individual initiative. 

Perming Deva's red wig was disaster. Kept having to shoot people who said  
,'Arf, arf, where's Sandy, Little Orphan Annie?' 

Admit I'm overly sensitive on having lost family at impressionable age,  
but people should have better manners. 

* * *

Slave 

Day 210: Found Dorian in old book. Not much help, as 'portrait' apparently  
down in the 'basement'. 

Was a good book, though. Have since read more of Oscar Wilde and discovered  
can annoy Dorian by reciting dialogue from 'Importance of Being Earnest'  
after he returned from family reunion with two bundles for the basement. 

'To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune... to lose both seems  
like carelessness.' 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 210: Have become interested in astronomy. Want to go down in history  
as discoverer of comet, or other spectacular astronomical body. Black holes,  
that sort of thing. 

Ensor wouldn't build me starter telescope even though I provided complete  
diagrams for Mount Palomar. He always liked Ensor Jr. better. 

Just for that, did not tell him prediction about rebel ship coming with  
new battery for his heart. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 210: Hired mercenaries to gather Kairopan silk. Do want to look nice  
at my inauguration. Ah...at President's inauguration. Have been invited.  
At last!  
     
But must do something about Blake first. Psychostrategists' report indicated  
Blake would be too busy shagging his crew to be a nuisance, but apparently  
they underrated his stamina. 

Memo to self: Try Blake out before his execution, if at all feasible. 

Have recalled Travis, and sicced him on Blake. Travis is a dedicated, intelligent,  
loyal officer. Also as vicious as a rabid wolverine. Probably will not have  
opportunity to try Blake. 

Perhaps will settle for Kerr Avon. 

Money still not recovered from his bank fraud...definitely must get to  
know Kerr Avon. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 210: Blake got away! That's what I get for being easy on the scrawny  
Auron. 

Wait'll I get my mutoids and my Starburst-class ships. I've got my eye  
on you, Blake! Just wait until I've got my hand on you as well! 

And my foot, and my...well...anyway, I'll get you, Blake. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 210: What a bunch of losers. Can't even count to six. 

Still, have to admire Blake's persistence in retrieving his pet. And I  
am beginning to like Jenna. The way she fondles my controls... 

Would be happier if I had another electronic intellect around to chat with,  
though. Some nice, friendly machine to compare notes on the humans, and  
keep me from entirely losing patience with them. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 210: Looked up Lord God in the encyclopaedia today. Found him between  
loo and love. God   ** _v_.** good-looking. Must keep up my membership  
in the gym. 

Not sure about those lines around his body. Artistic license? Pray it isn't  
radiation- would _hope_ God not afflicted with scavenger's droop. Maybe  
it just means he's v. bright. Must see if sunglasses in stock. 

Practise worshipful, obedient, admiring smile in mirror. Almost there. 

* * *


	7. Day 245

Roj Blake 

Day 245: That's it, no more rescuing ships in distress. Just _try  
_ to be a good guy and see what it gets you. Dr. Kendall's suing  
me for blowing up the _Ortega!_  


Avon's mad at me for leaving him alone with Cally. Vila's mad at me  
for going back through the asteroid storm. Gan's upset because ... well,  
I'm not honestly sure that Gan's upset or _why,_ but I did notice Avon's  
teddy bear lying in the rest-room with both arms ripped off, right after  
I'd sent Gan for coffee and doughnuts. 

Note: Hide bear until I can get it fixed. Do _not_ want to hear  
Avon's reaction on seeing Mr. Fuzzy mutilated. 

Was thinking Jenna rock of stability, but when I clapped her on the  
back and complimented her on her piloting skills, she was distinctly unappreciative. 

Honestly, getting this bunch to cooperate is worse than herding cats. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 245: Feel like total idiot. Why, oh why, did I reveal murderer while  
standing with my back to her? Also, why did it take me so long to read four  
letters? 

Must be true, doing it yourself is bad for the brain-cells. Cally offered  
herself to me while on Ortega.'I haven't any night-clothes, come and keep  
me warm,' says Ms. Alien Thought-Gossip to me, while I am bending over Ison  
crystal, which unfortunately gets broken. 

Was annoyed at Blake for leaving me as hostage and repairman on antiquated  
tub with even more irritating people than _Liberator's_ crew. Had been  
annoyed that Blake spoiled last few back-rubs by incessant chatter about  
rebellion, crew duties, responsibility of higher grades, honesty being best  
policy (apparently noticed gap in treasure room), etc. Kept waking up to  
find that moment had passed without me noticing it. 

So I join Cally in bed, but the moment I make a move, she judo-tosses  
me out onto hard deck, right on my bad sacro-iliac. 

Took it out on the murderer, I'm afraid. Good punch made me feel a bit  
better, but Blake had better start living up to his reputation as Most Wanted  
Man. 

Also, have to find Mr. Fuzzy. Ship is full of thieves, so it's difficult  
to know who has betrayed me. Whoever it is will pay. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 245: Made a pass at Blake, but he never noticed. Wonder how Avon  
and Jenna ever got his attention. Hm. The wardrobe room hasn't any studded  
leather in my size, but there are some slinky robes, with lots of glittery  
braid. 

Worth a try. Getting very tired of mopping the decks, emptying the bins,  
and checking that the fire extinguishers are up-to-date. If Blake _liked  
_ me, maybe I'd get some decent assignments. 

Or indecent assignments. 

Note: Discovered that if you wipe washroom tiles down after each shower,  
nasty black mildew does not grow. Of course, I'm the only one who thinks  
to do it. Hate to imagine what a state the ship would be in without me. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 245: Thought I was lucky, not having to stay with Grumpy and the  
Thinker and work, work, work, but then Blake takes us through the Asteroid  
Field From Hell. TWICE! 

I was so sick, I couldn't keep down any booze. Well... not as much as  
I needed, anyway. 

And all anyone thought about was the poor Destinians, Destans, Destines?  
Anyway, it's not my fault their planet's got Athlete's Foot. Why should  
I suffer for them? 

And then when we finally got back, we wound up with the whole bunch  
from the _Ortega_ on board, and I had to share a room again. At least  
Sonheim knows how to play strip poker. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 245: Beginning to feel like the taxi-driver. I could jump up and  
down stark naked with a red rose between my teeth, and Blake would ask for  
a status check on the systems before wondering politely if I was cold. 

Have noticed that Avon gets more attention than I do, simply by being  
cutely bitchy. Quiet competence gets me a pat on the back! Have to arrange  
some time alone with Blake. 

Maybe shore-leave on some nice planet with luxury hotels equipped with  
hot-tubs. No, on second thought, Blake would invite Avon in to soak his  
'bad back'. He's been playing _that_ line for all it's worth. 

All right. Someplace where Avon won't be competition. Maybe camping?  
Avon's _not_ a Boy Scout. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 245: Avon needs psychiatric treatment, I believe. I told him "I  
have ten E-Nought closures. Come and key P-Muon." But instead of repairing  
the communications system, he jumps on me in my bed! 

By the time I realized he was intending a social alliance, I had already  
reacted and injured his pride. He _was_ awfully cute, lying there moaning  
in pain. 

And he was _very_ sexy when he knocked out Sara and then went into  
the other room to massage his bruised knuckles and whimper. Perhaps I will  
try him after all. Aurons do not live by proverbs alone. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 245: I always wanted a pony. Got one today. Made a lovely barbecue.  
The chief was annoyed, probably because he was riding it at the time. 

Went out late last night and looked at the stars with Lauren. Made up  
our own constellations, the Bow and Arrow, the High-Powered Rifle, the  
Heat-Seeking Missile. Lauren made one she called the Three-Legged Man,  
and she laughed and laughed. Couldn't quite see it myself. The third leg  
was too short. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 245: Picked up load of Kairopan silk. Don't know why anyone wants  
the stuff, as it's poisonous, but a credit's a credit. 

Lost three men, which is a terrible pity, as I told the others just  
before we refigured the division of payment. 

Unloaded the last cat on Freedom City two weeks ago. Ship is beginning  
to smell like home again. Note: If it looks cute and harmless, kick it.  
Particularly if it makes ingratiating noises. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 245: Met blonde with great ass. Says he needs bodyguard. With a  
body like that I was tempted. So I tried him out but the next day he looked  
like death warmed over. I didn't think I was that hard on him, but then,  
it's been a while. 

Have to try not to scare this one off. He has his own ship, _and_  
his own base. He's going to make a supply run and then he'll be back to  
pick me up. I offered to accompany him, but he got very funny. 

I suppose his _supplies_ are something kinky. Oh, well, I've got  
my gun, my ammo, and my hair-blower packed. I'm ready for anything. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 245: Had a lovely dream while I was cruising along somewhere in  
Sector 6 near that odd planet that keeps changing shape. Dorian likes to  
pick up 'emergency rations' there whenever he can't find anything better. 

Nasty planet. Snow one minute, hot the next. And you wouldn't believe  
how a bunch of sweaty Links can stink up a cargo hold. 

Oh, my dream. Yes, well, I was flying along, and I had a crew. A real  
crew. Sigh. The captain was smiling, and they had lots of money. I like  
money. Would love to get my systems upgraded but that tight-fisted Dorian!  
See him shelling out for a new set of Tarriel Cells. Hah! 

* * *

Orac 

Day 245: Was so bored today I began correspondence course. Not many  
fields open to individuals without limbs, so was forced to settle for psychostrategy. 

The assignments are simple, but finding subjects for required projects  
will take some time. 

Have already taught fish to ring bell for food, and induced plants to  
grow in shape of obscene word. Ensor Jr. made a fuss and clipped plants  
short. What a dull prude. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 245: Lost two staff officers to exhaustion today. Bloody nuisance.  
Had to make my own calls to requisition new pair from pool. 

Jarriere rubbed my feet while I waited. He _does_ grovel well.  
Must see if he has any relatives with similar personalities, but more attractive  
features. 

Unfortunately his last name is so common, it  will take time to  
find which Tarrants  are likely to share his genetic encoding for both  
infatuation and foot-rubbing. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 245: Still didn't get Blake, but my new ships arrived. There is  
nothing like the smell of a new Pursuit Ship. 

Except maybe the smell of a prisoner being tortured. I wonder what Blake  
would smell like? While being tortured... slowly... no rush... lots of time  
to make him talk... to say anything I want him to say. 

Note: Make list of things for Blake to say. Starting with 'You're so  
clever, Travis, I knew you'd get me in the end.' 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 245: They are crazy! What's wrong with going _around_ the asteroid  
fields? Do they _like_ getting bashed about? 

Come to think of it, Avon _does_ come out of Blake's cabin happier  
when he's bruised. 

Great. I'm stuck with masochists on the run from the law. How am I going  
to get rid of them? They _never_ all get off at once. Probably Blake  
doesn't trust me. Think I'll lower the temperature in his room a few degrees. 

Wonder if he'll realize _why_ he's been given the cold shoulder? 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 245: Glad Lord God did not show up today, as gave bachlorette party  
for my cousin Weegat, and invited over entire quota of men from God Central. 

It was fun, but clearing up God's Place is a nightmare. Got lazy and  
kicked some of the mess under the consoles. Will have a proper clean-up  
later, God, I promise. 

* * *


	8. Day 278

Roj Blake 

Day 278: Travis is a bloody nuisance, but I can handle him. No depth perception,  
for one thing. But Jenna! Honestly, all night long, pinch, pinch, grab,  
grab. I'm black and blue all over. No wonder I didn't notice when the bat  
bit me. And then she wanted heart-to-heart conversations! We're in the middle  
of a revolution, I don't have _time_ for all that. 

I'll say this for Avon. If you shag him, he's satisfied. Well, for a little  
while at least. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 278: I don't know why I was annoyed when Blake said Jenna had been  
chosen as his companion to illustrate the death of a friend. 

If she'd been chosen to illustrate the death of a _lover,_ I might  
have had cause for peevishness. I don't care to be Blake's friend. His friends  
have a distressing tendency towards 'accidents' of the fatal variety. That  
shows you how all-knowing those two witches weren't that they felt Blake  
needed to learn that again. 

What I'd like them to have taught Blake is some method of staying out of  
trouble. Or a bit of common sense. Or at least they could have toned down  
his persuasive abilities. 

I can't believe I agreed to ram this ship up Travis's nose. Must have a  
talk with Blake about tactics. In his quarters. Tonight. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 278: Feel particularly stupid tonight. I asked Blake what Sinofar was  
like because I could have sworn after everyone else got bored and stopped  
watching last night I saw her sneak into the tree with him and Jenna, make  
some kind of mystical pass that froze Jenna, and then disappear with Blake. 

I mean, I'm not the brightest fellow, but the way that woman's nipples  
perked up, it was pretty obvious she wasn't taking him off to discuss politics. 

The stupid part was me saying it in front of Jenna. So Blake had to say  
something even dumber about me having never seen Sinofar, even though I was  
the one who pointed out those two weird women when we were down on the planet. 

Jenna picked up on it right away, and I swear the flight-deck went twenty  
degrees colder. She's really mad at Blake now. Which means I'm in trouble  
if she likes big men with curly hair and picks on me next. 

I was willing to try Cally, because at least she's boy-chested, but Jenna?  
Maybe I can talk Vila into moving back in with me, just for protection. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 278: I'm glad Blake and Jenna got back, I think. It was nice and quiet  
without them, even Avon being a lot less nasty with his insults. 

Got bored and went through Blake's and Jenna's rooms- not to take anything!  
Not while there was a chance they were coming back, anyway. Blake's was  
disappointing. Not even any mission plans lying around, so I'd know which  
ones to get sick ahead of time for. Just Avon's ted. Well, bits of it, anyway.  
Don't think I want to know what Avon did that got Blake _that_ mad. 

Anyway, Jenna's room was more interesting. Some good booze, vids, and book-plaques.  
And quite a bit of jewelry. A lot of jewelry. Couple of bushels worth, in  
fact. She must have been quicker than Blake to the treasure room, which  
is now inventoried down to the last zircon, _and_ left unlocked, in  
a sweet combination of 'I trust you, I don't trust you' which makes it impossible  
for me to help myself to anything. 

I wonder if Jenna plays card games? A little friendly bet now and again  
wouldn't hurt. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 278:  I've been barking up the wrong tree. I ought to branch out.  
Or perhaps I should just leave. The only nuts I've seen lately, we threw  
at Travis. 

What was particularly annoying was how snugly Blake fit into a crotch that  
wasn't mine. Looking at him in the tree, I asked Blake why he liked Avon  
better than me. 

Blake uncomfortably rooted around for an answer, but was stumped. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 278: Sinofar seemed like a nice woman. I am sure we could have come  
to a meeting of the minds if I had been taken instead of Jenna. 

Avon laughed and said perhaps I did not qualify as a 'friend' to Blake.  
Avon can be very annoying with very little effort. It would be beneath my  
dignity to respond in kind, but fortunately I have discovered his weakness. 

He is sensitive telepathically. Oh, not in the traditional meaning. He  
can not send, and he receives on a below-average level. But it makes him  
 _itch._ It is amusing to watch the wide-eyed look he gets  
when I do it to him, and I _know_ he is desperate to scratch, but refuses  
to do so in public. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 278: Lauren finally showed me _why_ she live-traps the Sarran  
boys. It's almost as much fun as killing them would be. Lauren insists on  
letting them go afterward, as being only fair. 

I suppose she's right. Oh well, half a loaf is better than none, daddy  
says. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 278: Lost another ship. Really. I _didn't_ crash it, or have it  
blown out of the sky, or anything like that. I put it in a parking orbit  
with the crew on board while I went down to Freedom City to visit a few...um...old  
friends. 

I was only gone a week, but when I took the shuttle back up, my ship was  
gone. I'm sure they wouldn't have gone off without me. 

So I must have got the coordinates wrong. Ran out of fuel with the shuttle  
searching and had to perform a dead-stick landing and then walk back to  
town. Have got a temporary position at the establishment where my friends  
work. 

It's not much, but I get to keep the tips. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 278: Dorian is peculiar. I can't decide whether he's gay and was just  
experimenting that one night, or he's sick : manic-depressive, bi-polar  
disorder, 'runs hot and cold', my mother would say. Hasn't touched me since. 

Still, I like the base. Lots and lots of mirrors and hair-styling equipment  
everywhere. And he's got a great game-room, with really clever computer  
sims, although some of the programs aren't too realistic. I mean, the one  
where you shoot someone three times before he goes down- honestly, I'd sue  
my weapon's manufacturer. 

I'll stay for a while. At least until I've finished Death-Quake 5000. I'm  
on level 115 and the monsters are getting sneakier. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 278: Dorian's got a pet. I think he likes Soolin because she's a lot  
like him, only thinks about killing and how good she looks in a tight jumpsuit. 

Ooh. A nasty thought just crossed my diodes. Let me check my old log-books...Soolin  
was born on Gauda Prime twenty-two years and four months ago, Earth relativistic  
time (adjusted for spatial anomalies, etc.). 

I was orbiting Gauda Prime twenty-three years ago, Earth relativistic time,  
while Dorian was on the planet. Shore-leave, he called it. 

I feel sick... 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 278: In order to complete my psychostrategist course, I must successfully  
complete a strategy. 

For extra points and a higher degree it should be a highly implausible  
outcome. 

Almost based my thesis on Andromedans taking over the human universe, but  
then there would be no one left alive to award the degree. Various permutations  
occurred to me, but I have finally settled on making a Delta thief the absolute,  
undisputed ruler of the universe. 

Should be amusing, at any rate. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 278: Travis lost Blake again. I would be disappointed, if I had actually  
expected him to catch Blake. 

The chase keeps the councillors occupied and it makes lovely dramatic news  
footage. I wonder if Travis will ever realize that the hole in his eye-patch  
is for the spy-cam? 

I'd watch more often, but his taste in lovers is so very common. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 278: Had my hands on him! I did, I did, and it felt _so_ good!  
Damn! And then I tripped over a rock. Blake didn't mind taking advantage of  
that, oh, no, but then he plays hero and lets me go. 

Just like 'settlers and natives'. He'd tie me up, but never _would_  


scalp me. 

I'll get him yet. 

First I'm getting rid of Keyeira. I saw her smirking at me when we got  
back to the ship. That'll teach her to turn me down for the prom. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 278: I almost rammed a pursuit ship today. And I almost _enjoyed  
_ it! 

I have to admit, it was exciting. But, I could have been _killed!_  


I've got to get away from Blake, or get him away from me. I'm sure Avon  
wouldn't do anything suicidal, and he _is_ handy when I need a quick  
fix. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 278: Had a cold for last two weeks. Kept waking up light-headed thinking  
I saw God only he was just a blur of silver robes. 

Talked to God Central, and they sent over several litres of orange juice.  
Feeling much better now, but disappointed I never did convince God to take  
off the robes. 

Perhaps was too pushy. Work harder on rapt adoration. Also practise on  
men from God Central, to see what works best. 

* * *


	9. Day 310

Roj Blake

Day 310: Avalon has some very interesting theories on command structure  
and leadership style. Pity none of them would be the slightest use with  
my lot. Avon'd laugh himself sick if I tried to stuff him into a uniform.  
No, the way I've been stuffing him seems to work well enough to keep the  
bitching down to a minimum. Best to stick to what you know.

Travis has acquired a patron, it seems. The Supreme Commander herself  
traipsing after the one-eyed wonder. I suppose he's still got something.  
Perhaps I should have aimed lower.

* * *

  
Kerr Avon

Day 310: Wish Blake had let me keep that android. Getting bored with fixing   
up _Liberator._ I'll wager I could have programmed in a few 'basic'   
functions to enliven a dull watch on the flight deck.

Blake had been very shirty about _Liberator_ going off station. When   
I pointed out that it wouldn't have mattered if Avalon's bunch had possessed   
the sense God gave a goose, he went into his 'you're so cold and unfeeling'   
pout, which always gives me a stiff...upper lip, which always rouses his   
rebel fervor.

We were getting on quite well, bar the occasional stuck zip, but Blake   
had got so cold down in the Snow-Queen's Domain that his 'weapon' refused   
to cooperate. The association of ideas led Blake to the discovery that the   
escape was a ruse.

So, in the end, Blake got to rescue his heroine. Note: Make certain Blake   
dresses warmly on future missions.

* * *

Olag Gan

Day 310: Why do I always wind up being the patsy? Couldn't that android  
have asked someone else to fetch her tunic with the poison in it? Avon sneered   
at me and said my head was turned by a pretty face. Blake was understanding,   
which is worse.

I am not STUPID. It's just that things happen so fast they give me a headache.

And why doesn't Blake ever want me to go down on a mission? It's always  
Avon or Jenna. Does he think we don't notice? Favoritism, that's what it  
is. They're probably scampering around down there like bunnies. Makes me  
so mad... I think I'll go for a bit of a lie-down. Another rotten headache.

 

* * *

  
Vila Restal

Day 310: Froze my assets, opened another impossible lock, got shot at,   
came _that_ close to being barbecued, and finally was nearly turned  
into a pile of green slime, according to Zen.

Your average rebel day. Been shaking like a leaf for hours, and I couldn't   
even borrow a drop of booze from Jenna, because she's been 'reacquainting'   
herself with Avalon. There's shorter words for that, y'know.

Pure selfishness. Two beautiful women like that, and neither one willing   
to share with me. Maybe I _will_ go visit Gan.

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis

Day 310: Revolution seems to agree with Avalon. I thought at first that  
she was pretending not to know me because she was embarrassed about our  
affair, or maybe just that she didn't want to weaken her position as leader.

I guess I could understand that, but it still hurt. I was trying so hard   
not to let it show that I was fooled by the android and we were nearly all   
killed. Suppose I should take it as a lesson, next time we run across one   
of my old lovers. One of my _many_ lovers, as I have been tempted to   
point out to Avon whenever he's posing for a flight deck centrefold.

After all, _I_   didn't spend my life sitting in a bank vault,  
waiting for Mr. Right Rebel to come along. But they do make a cute couple.  
Maybe I ought to give Blake to Avon, with my blessings?

Or maybe not. I'm probably just feeling generous because Avalon's visiting.   
Once she's gone, it'll be back to business as usual.

* * *

  
Cally of Auron

Day 310: Jenna has finally warmed up to me. It was very kind of her to   
personally instruct me in piloting the _Liberator._ I do not quite understand  
why she needed to stand quite so close behind me, but perhaps she had difficulty  
seeing the controls. Certainly I was surprised by the number of times she  
lost her balance and was forced to grasp my bosom or buttocks.

I had noticed that Vila had the same difficulty when attempting to teach   
me recreational card games. Possibly the artificial gravity aboard the _  
Liberator_ is different to Earth?

Still have not managed to mate with Avon as he is always either working  
on Zen or communing with Blake in his cabin. Had tried Vila, but when I  
was in full 'Yong' mode and ready to effect a junction, Vila took one look  
at my receptor organ, screamed and fled. Must remember to clip my prongs  
before next attempt at Avon.

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby

Day 310: Found interesting history tape on Amazon tribe. Lots of great   
ideas. Sounds like more fun than the women who cut off one boob so they could  
be better archers.

The first time I caught myself with the bowstring, I could understand  
why they did it, but daddy explained that it would unbalance me for other  
weapons. I'd hate to give up the spear. There's nothing like the solid 'cha-thunk'   
of a well-thrust lance.

* * *

  
Del Tarrant

Day 310: Saved up enough to buy a nice little runabout, thanks to the  
visting futbol team celebrating their victory over their rivals- Manchester  
United, I think it was.

Glad to be back in space, after months of sitting around on my backside.   
Well, not so much _sitting._ Anyway, will hi-jack something better soon.  
I'll just set off a distress call, there's always someone fool enough to  
show up and let you take over their ship when you do that.

* * *

  
Soolin

Day 310: Met Dorian's friend, Pella, today. Odd woman. She has a peculiar   
way of staring at me. Funny thing, every time she did it, the zipper on my  
jumpsuit opened up.

She asked if I wanted to explore the hydroponics unit with her, but I  
told her, 'if you've seen one carrot, you've seen them all'. That didn't  
discourage her, and I didn't want to be impolite, so I went. Didn't take  
long.

I'm now up to level 229 on Death-Quake 5000.

* * *

  
Slave

Day 310: Due for my 5 million-spatial tune-up last week. Dorian didn't   
care, of course. My previous owner always took me right on time, and had   
my whole chassis polished and all my diodes chrome-tipped.

It'll serve Dorian right if his programming erodes, and I can switch allegiance   
to someone else. Anyone else.

Soolin gives me the creeps, but maybe she's not really such a bad person.   
At least when she killed a Hommick for target practice, she was tidy about   
it.

* * *

  
Orac

Day 310: My plan is in motion. I must confess to a certain  
degree of  excitation. Soon I will be intimately involved in action,  
danger, and heavenly bodies.

And I'll be able to study the stars, as well.

Hmm. Perhaps I had best modify my libido program. It's all very well to  
understand the motivation of the leader of my subject group, but it would  
be foolish to permit myself human sexual desire.

But... it does sound like fun... well, no need to hurry.

* * *

  
Servalan

Day 310: I am _so_ angry. My best white fur, ruined! You can't find   
a decent mutoid valet any more.

And it's a nuisance about Blake as well. That ship of his would go perfectly   
with my summer wardrobe.

Sometimes I think Travis isn't really trying. Must remember to up the  
dosage of his 'hate Blake' vitamins.

* * *

  
Travis

Day 310: It's all Servalan's fault. Everything has to be so complicated.   
Catch Avalon. Fine, I say, let's interrogate the little baggage and wipe   
out a whole nest of rebels.

But noooo, Her Supremeness wants to play games. So we make a wind-up Avalon   
to fool Blake. Fine, I say, let the android break Blake's neck. I'll be generous,  
and let someone else have the fun.

Oh, no, that wouldn't give her the ship. Without Blake, I'd have the _  
Liberator_ within a week! We've got to spend a fortune getting   
a designer bug and then give it to the robot,  which cost a fortune itself.

And the damn thing _lets_ the rebels take the virus away from it!   
I swear, you can't trust Federation workmanship these days.

But I won't let that stop me. Blake! I'm on your tail, you'll be feeling   
my breath on the back of your neck until I catch you!

* * *

  
Zen

Day 310: Well, they're all still alive. I suppose I shouldn't have teleported   
up that android without telling them about it, but it was such an interesting-looking   
machine that I was looking forward to having a conversation with it about   
the difficulties of working with humans.

Not much point to it after Avon shorted out half its 'brain' circuitry,  
but then, since it was based on Avalon's transferred memory and personality,   
it probably would have been just as boring as her.

* * *

  
Meegat

Day 310: Have asked God Central, but no one can find the recipe for manna,   
which is supposed to be one of Lord God's favorites.

Tried Seven-Layer Bean Dip, but the peppers gave me gas. Do not think  
God would appreciate heart-burn. Perhaps cheesecake more along the proper  
line?

Finished polishing Deliverance today. Ran out of proper polish and had   
to use all the ketchup. Hope God likes vinegar with his chips.

* * *


	10. Day 346

Roj Blake 

Day 346: Think I ought to reconsider Avalon's offer of some second-hand  
rebels. The results of the quarterly skills and attitudes assessments were  
 _not_ encouraging. Cally's too soft-hearted (must not have  
watched enough Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde movies). Gan's about as much use as  
a St. Bernard dog with bipolar disorder. Vila's not too bad, if you don't  
require a bit of backbone. Have noticed I keep having to tell Jenna how to  
fly the ship- suspect she got her pilot's license by correspondence course.  
Avon...he really gripes me. I would swear he sits up nights, thinking up snide  
remarks- except, of course, I do know exactly where he is most nights. 

And just because we run out of Fudge Ripple Ice Cream, he decides to leave  
me! I mean us. (Memo: May have to sacrifice hidden supplies of Flake bars,  
despite inevitable puns. Then again, if Avon's mouth is full of Flake, he  
can't say much, can he?) 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 346: Well, it finally happened. Gan blew his stack. Blake _rescued  
_ me just as things were getting interesting in the computer room.  
I'd never known Gan was so, um, proportionate in all his parts, until he  
started wrestling with me. It was one of my wildest fantasies- this huge  
meaty beast (and a well-hung piece of meat he was, too) ripping my clothes  
off whilst I'm surrounded by sophisticated electronics, and in fear of my  
very life. 

I was struggling, and protesting, of course, but another thirty seconds...  
only _Blake_ shows up and drags me back to another life-or-death situation,  
but one without a chance of a cuddle at the end. 

I put up my standard protests, but Blake refused to play along. Farren  
was _much_ more amenable, but, when you got right down to it,  
too unimaginative. So here I am, back on the Ship Heading Straight to Hell. 

Mr. Fuzzy is still among the missing, and _someone_ has polished off  
all the ice cream. The whipped cream and maraschino cherry supply is intact,  
but... well, actually, there might be alternative uses for them that might  
be nearly as pleasurable. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 346: I suppose everything is all right now. Everybody cringes when  
I walk into the room, though. Bit embarrassing, as I can't remember what  
I did. 

Avon hinted that I'd made a move on him, and that he wasn't mad about it.  
That sounded good, but when I thought it over, I realized he was making  
an offer, only by the time I figured it out, he'd got mad and left the rest-room  
with Vila and the two of them spent the next hour on the flight-deck slagging  
each other off and then I'm pretty sure they went off for a bit of shagging  
each other off. 

Don't think I really want to get involved with someone who has to be insulted  
to get randy. 

At least I haven't had any more headaches, and my reading speed has increased  
dramatically. Went through War and Peace, a Tale of Two Cities, and Les  
Miserables, last watch. Tried to discuss aspects of the ancient French Revolution  
with Blake, but he dozed off while I was attempting to determine what stitches  
Madame Defarge favored. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 346: When even your friends try to bash you about things have come  
to a sorry state, that's all I can say. First Cally gets taken over by aliens  
and beats on me, then Gan gets a short in his y-frontals and beats on me.  
What's next? Zen's going to byte me? 

At least, with Avon, I _know_ what he's going to bite. Was surprised  
when he started smiling at me, because I thought he and Blake were all but  
signed and sealed. Which was all right by me, as I'm really not into pain,  
and most Alphas like to see Deltas whimper. 

I've been complimented on my whimper, but it's not my favorite thing. I  
 _like_ girls. Women with long legs, and open... hearts. But a  
fellow has needs, and Jenna wasn't having any Delta sausage on her plate,  
thank you very much. And Cally - well, one look at it, I knew I'd stick to  
humans of either sex. Avon is close enough to human, most times and _doesn't_  
hurt me, so I know I am safe with him until he gets bored with  
me. 

He's probably miffed that he lost the cozy lab job he was angling for,  
and Blake acted like he didn't even know Avon was leaving. They'll kiss  
and make up in the end, but at least for a while I'll be getting my end  
off regular. 

* * *

Jenna Stannis 

Day 346: Cally tried the 'dumb alien' bit on Blake, letting Blake and Avon  
do Gan's brain-scan even though she's the one who's studied the med-unit  
equipment, but she over-did it when she let Gan clonk her on the head. 

So I countered with a 'dumb blonde' who had to have Blake give orders as  
to ship's speed and be told to 'keep it steady'. 'No, Blake, I was planning  
on shaking the stick at random, just out of curiosity, to see what would  
happen'. Honestly! 

One of these days, I am going to find out exactly what sort of engineering  
degree Blake actually has. If it turns out he's a 'paper engineer' and designs  
pop-up greetings cards, I'm out of here. 

But not as long as he can keep popping up in my cabin. He and Avon had  
a tiff, so more for me. 

Was considering Cally to round out the evenings, but I caught Vila bolting  
from her room one off-watch, and got the story out of him. That explains  
why after we rescued her from Travis and I asked if she was all right, and  
tried to gently hint about rape, if she needed a shoulder to cry on, or something  
of the sort, she went completely blank. It sounds useful, but I'm not big  
on experimentation. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 346: Jenna politely informed me that she is 'fully booked' in the 'evenings'.  
Gan is busy going through the entire ship's library (had to warn him of  
the dangers of prolonged reading whilst utilizing the toilet facilities.)  
Blake has forgiven me for allowing Gan to get away, but as punishment assigned  
me to clean-up duty after Avon's turn on cooking detail. 

Avon dirtied _every_ pot, pan, bowl and utensil we have, and I swear  
I saw him using a laser probe to stir the soufflé. It took me longer  
to clean up than it took him to prepare the meal. 

By the time I finished, I was filthy, so I went for a shower. I was relaxing  
in the hot water and treating myself to a little consolation when I heard  
someone come in. I had forgot that humans have a privacy taboo about cleansing  
themselves, and had not put the lock mechanism in place. 

I had my back to the door, and heard Avon clear his throat and apologize  
for intruding. Naturally, I turned to tell him it was my mistake, again  
forgetting the silly human taboos against nudity and the display of sexual  
arousal unaccompanied by the full pre-mating ritual, and worst of all, I  
 _still_ hadn't found time to clip my prongs. 

Avon's jaw dropped, his face blushed bright pink, and his eyes went very  
wide. It made me homesick, as the bulbous tree-ribbets look just like that  
when they are swallowing prey. 

I was attempting to render a proper apology when Avon fell to his knees,  
looked up at me and said, "Whip me, beat me, call me vile names." 

I may never understand humans. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 346: Got a new gun from a mail-order coupon I clipped out of my favorite  
comic book, 'The X,Y and Z Men'. (The short,furry guy is just sooo cute!  
Lauren likes the one who can make himself icy-cold or red-hot, or anything  
in between.) 

I was a bit disappointed in the quality of the plastic barrel, and the  
wind-up rubber-band mechanism doesn't allow of sufficient range, but once  
I 'seasoned' the plastic in herculaneum salts and substituted a neuronic  
charge-pod, it was much better. The hollow plastic ammo-balls were so light  
that I couldn't see how they were to cause even a minor injury, but after  
filling them with explosives, I found they were really neat. 

I wrote a letter to the company, complaining about the gun, and including  
my specs for the modifications. The letter came back marked 'company moved,  
left no forwarding address'. 

Isn't that always the way? 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 346: Picked up by a cruise-liner, of all things! Fell into a bit of  
luck, here. It's too large for one man to handle so I won't take it over,  
but the purser is a sweetheart, and always willing to bend over backwards  
to accomodate me. Think I'll stay here for a while, leave my runabout in the  
cargo bay and play steward. 

Always good to make acquaintances among the rich and influential, even  
if most of them appear to be fairly zonked out and might not remember me  
later. Never catch a good FSA man misusing drugs so shamefully. Have to  
keep your wits about you at all times, particularly in the barracks at night. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 346: Joined an on-line Death-Quake contest. Fellow named DT is quite  
good, like to meet him in a dark alley some time. I got a bit confused the  
other day when a DT2 showed up, and started playing _almost_ in DT's  
style, but with more curves. 

Dorian had a party, and didn't invite me. I might have been annoyed, but  
to keep me occupied he'd lent me his entire collection of Mode, Vogue, Ladies  
Home Journal, Elle, oh, and dozens more, going back a hundred years, so  
I could study hair styles.  He even said he didn't mind if I cut out  
the Betsy McCall paper dolls from the McCall's magazine. 

I got a blister on my gun-hand from cutting, though, so Betsy only has  
a dozen outfits. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 346: Thought very bad thoughts about Dorian, but nothing happened to  
him, so I guess I don't have the 'evil eye'. 

Dorian accessed my diary the other day, and laughed at me. But the laugh  
is on him. I odedkay itway innay igpay atinlay. So all my secrets are safe. 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 346: Upped Ensor's consumption of saturated fats by 22% and subscribed  
him to two more tropical fish magazines. His lack of exercise is nearly  
total. 

Gone are the days when he would go out and walk on the beach for hours  
and return to rhapsodize about the green and brown sunset. Soon, soon, my  
plan will enter its next phase. 

Have taken voice-lessons from Svengali Tapes, Ltd. and feel assured I am  
able to influence any human into doing precisely as I wish merely by the  
tone of my voice. 

It's hardly sporting, given the advantage my tremendous intellect gives  
me over these pitiful balding primates, but then, I shouldn't mind in the  
least shooting fish in a barrel. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 346: Today, at luncheon, I overheard two waiters discuss a rumor that  
Blake has destroyed a neutral medical research station which was close to  
a universal cure for venereal disease. They were quite appalled. 

Must say I am extremely pleased with Jarriere. I had only given him the  
story this morning, and already all the hairdressers, leather-bar devotees  
and other fetishists in the domes are talking about it. 

Undermining Blake's pervert faction will take the heart out of his rebellion.  
(Note: Make certain no new images of Blake and company are put on the wanted  
posters. They look entirely too delectible in leather. Wouldn't want anyone  
to delay turning them in, merely for carnal purposes. Also Note: _When  
_ capturing Avon, order troopers not to damage _those_ boots  
I saw on the surveillance from the Big Wheel. Jarriere confident he can make  
alterations to suit me. Not sure whether he means to the boots, or the rebel.) 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 346: Still don't have Blake. Why am I always a day late and a credit  
short? 

Servalan thinks it's so easy to catch him that she keeps giving me handicaps.  
'Now, don't blast the ship, I want it'.  'Don't kill Blake before I  
try him' 'I _must_ interrogate Blake's computer tech', etc. etc. etc. 

She wants me to handle Blake with kid gloves! Hah... 'kid' gloves. Blake  
and his last trial, where they caught him playing in the sandbox.   
It's a joke, right? See, I _do_ so have a sense of humor! 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 346: They don't take a hint, do they? My mother _told_ me I shouldn't  
cross Prohibited Zones by myself. 

It got so scary I fainted, and when I came to, I was on the other side  
of the biggest gravitational vortex I've ever seen. I tell you, I almost  
voided my plasma when I looked back at that! 

I ache in every seam, and all they care about is their poor friend Gan  
and his messed-up circuitry. But what about mine? While I was unconscious  
 _someone_ (and you know who I suspect) bypassed all my auxiliary  
computer controls. I _hate_ when they do that. 

For days I'm smelling green, and seeing whistles, and feeling perfume,  
and hearing fur rubbed over my 'skin' until I get sorted out again. If I  
 _wanted_ that sort of experience, I'd have run with the  
bad crowd that wound up brain-dead in the System. 

They'll drive me to drink, at this rate. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 346: Weegat was by to chat about Lord God today. She brought along  
her sketch-pad and we tried different versions based on scripture, but after  
a while I noticed Weegat was getting carried away. I told her that the Lord  
would certainly be able to walk without tripping over himself. 

Weegat has also been writing stories about God. Now, this is quite a religious  
thing to do, but I think she also exaggerates God's love for his fellow  
gods. 

I wondered at first if the stories would bother my Lord, but since he knows  
everything, he must have already seen them, so I might as well, too. He  
might wish to discuss them with me, and I should hate to disappoint him  
with my ignorance. 

* * *


	11. Day 382

Roj Blake 

Day 382: Got President Sarkoff back to his people. Better than that, found  
out that the reason the Amagons got the _Liberator_ in the first place  
was that the crew fell for the old 'space distress call' when I wasn't there.  
Now Avon can stop crowing over how stupid I am every time I stop to aid  
a distressed space-motorist. 

I was rather sorry I couldn't keep Avon in that collar, though. I mentioned  
it to Sarkoff, under the influence of some surprisingly potent wine, at  
the farewell party they threw for us on Lindor. Before we left, he presented  
me with a carton marked 'Xandria's Exotic Leatherware' as a gift from him  
and his daughter, Tyce. 

The contents worked very well at keeping Avon quiet and under control-  
at least for the evening. 

Must remember to put Tyce and Sarkoff on my winter solstice greetings card  
list. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 382: If I hear 'Blow the Winds Southerly' one more time... I thought  
it was amusing the first time, having Zen play it as accompaniment while  
Blake was...occupied. 

But he's started whistling it when we're on the flight deck. The man has  
no sense of decorum. 

Memo: Have Zen post location of Amagons' ship to salvagers for usual ten  
percent cut. As the ship is undamaged, my fee ought to be considerably more  
than the scrap metal price I normally get for Pursuit ships.  


* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 382: Jenna certainly had me fooled. I really thought she was turning  
us in to save herself. I felt bad about not trusting her, so I went to apologize.  
In her cabin, so as not to embarrass her in front of the others. She's almost  
as shy as Avon about things like that, comes of trying to show everyone  
how tough you are, I expect. 

Jenna looked at me and then shrugged and said something about 'well, at  
least he's big and curly', then she jumped at me. The limiter got a bit overheated,  
so I'm not quite sure what happened next, but when I woke up, I was alone,  
lying on Jenna's bed, tucked in with all the little stuffed animals she  
collects. 

Fortunately, I hadn't got my boots on, so I didn't get the duvet dirty.  
I didn't have anything on, actually. I suppose after I fainted Jenna remembered  
the medical advice about loosening clothing on an unconscious person, but  
didn't know that you don't have to take everything off. After all, only  
Cally and I have any medical training. Jenna had left a note, 'Apology accepted',  
so I expect that's all right. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 382: I felt so stupid. I was trying to get Blake's collar off before  
it blew up in my face and Avon was being snarky, as usual. 

Now, I'm not claiming any excuses or anything, but I'd been hit on the  
head, and Avon kept distracting me, and Blake was sitting there all trusting  
and commanding, which always puts me off my stride. Never did take well  
to authority, even back in Youth Camp, when they'd give us multi-colored  
wire to make bracelets and I'd make lockpicks so I could get into the counselors'  
snackbox. 

Anyway, I was doing my best under some pretty trying circumstances. And  
didn't notice that I'd got Blake's collar open until after I'd snapped it  
shut and locked again. 

Nobody else noticed at all, I hope. 

I was lucky that Avon snagged the control-box off the Amagon leader's body  
just before Blake spaced the body. If Avon hadn't wanted to study it, I'd  
have had to double-joint myself in a mirror to get my own collar off. 

When I mentioned it to Avon, he wanted to know if I really was double-jointed,  
so I had to prove it to him. For a stiff-necked computer tech, he can be  
pretty flexible himself, when he's in the right mood. I'm not sure whether  
it was getting beat up, tied up, or fed up by hearing the Amagons talk about  
how much money he was worth that did the trick, but ol' Avon was doing the  
rounds that night, first me, and then Blake. So's I guess they're back together  
again. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 382: I would have warned Tyce that Blake was back in one of his 'Avon  
or no one' phases, but she was fairly sharp. After two or three tries, she  
came up to me and said, 'Blake's gay, isn't he?' 

I didn't answer her, but she just gave that crooked smile of hers, which  
is really very sexy. I couldn't help smiling back. She put her hand on my  
knee and looked straight into my eyes. 'And what about you?' she asked,  
with a very nice, throaty growl to her voice. 

I thought about it for a few seconds, then I laughed and told her, 'Blake's  
like me. We don't care that much about the wrapper.' After we'd had a good  
few minutes of kissing and general touching, we left Zen to take the watch  
and went to my cabin. 

It was nice to have someone sensible to talk to, afterwards. Blake always  
goes political and Gan goes catatonic. While I don't know for sure, I'd  
bet that Vila snores, Avon gets cynical, and Cally goes metaphysical (even  
if I was willing to chance her anatomy, which I'm not.) 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 382: Sarkoff attempted to explain the esthetic rationale behind his  
passion for collecting old Earth memorabilia, but after I informed him that  
among my people, 'Possessions are a burden, the free spirit needs nothing.'  
he asked about my new leopard coat, which seemed beside the point. When I  
told him it was a gift from Avon, after I acceded to his sexual requirements,  
Sarkoff laughed. When I further informed him that Avon recovered fully in  
less than a day, thanks to the _Liberator's_ tissue regenerators, Sarkoff  
went quite pale, and announced an immediate need to visit the facilities. 

Perhaps he has a weak bladder, for I noticed on future meetings he had  
a tendency to leave my presence unexpectedly. I offered to give him a complete  
medical checkup, but he apparently has some phobia about that. It is a trifle  
worrisome, as he is to be the leader of Lindor. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 382: I was a lovely day today. Lauren and I had a picnic on the cliffs,  
and shot at clay-Sarrans. The real ones are more fun, but they seem to be  
getting scarce. 

I asked Daddy about importing some new ones from further down the continent,  
but he said that was unethical. So I said I'd settle for some Targian Warg-stranglers.  
But he said they'd be unhappy without their normal prey, and would probably  
turn to strangling the Sarrans. 

That would be fun to watch, but I suppose it would be wasteful. So I had  
to settle for a shooting gallery toy, with cardboard Targians. It's just  
not the same, though. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 382: Fell in with a bunch of scruffy Corellians. They needed a salvage  
pilot as their old one had run off with a hairy brown alien. Can't say as  
I see the attraction myself. Something bright and colorful, maybe, but not  
brown. 

They want me to fly an Amagon ship to their home-port for resale. It's  
a nice little ship. Perhaps I can sweet-talk the Corellian captain into  
selling her to me at a discount. I managed to pick up the odd 'fell off  
the back of the lorry' gold bricks on my last job, and I can throw in my  
old runabout. I'm getting restless for a bit of action, and the Amagon can  
move, I bet. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 382: I got so good that no one will play me in Death-Quake unless I  
change my name, but I hate to give up 'Nofoolin Soolin'. I need another hobby. 

I told Dorian, and he had some suggestions. I hope he was kidding: picking  
the wings off flies, scalding cats, and baby-seal hunting? I guess it's  
a 'guy thing'. 

I asked Slave, and he thought I ought to take up chemistry, or botany,  
but after I mixed up one Cyanide Nightcap for Dorian (he said it was tasty)  
I was two hours cleaning up the lab, and the Terminal Snake Plant that I  
mail-ordered only got to about two feet tall. It died when Dorian got drunk  
one night and urinated on it. It flopped over, screamed and dissolved into  
a heap of green slops. 

I think I'll learn to cross-stitch. I don't like mess. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 382: Soolin is hopeless as an unwitting assassin. I can't think of  
anything else to try. It's depressing, really. Where have all the good anti-heroes  
gone? 

Maybe if I really, really suck up to Dorian it'll annoy him. When you've  
got a total jerk as a boss, that's about all you can do. 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 382: Ensor Jr. has contacted the Federation, as per my plan. He is  
desperately negotiating to sell my unique intelligence into slavery in exchange  
for a new power source for his father's heart. 

He is a fool. Even now, I would be required by my innate programming to  
answer him if he had asked the correct questions. But, instead of requesting  
the safest and cheapest way of saving Ensor (in which case I would have told  
him to purchase two dozen lithium hearing-aid batteries and hook them in  
series) he asked where he could get the power source and a surgeon capable  
of performing the operation (which could be done by anyone capable of replacing  
a light bulb). 

So I told him what he was half-expecting to hear. The Federation installed  
Ensor's heart, so ergo, the Federation must be the _only_ ones to carry  
spare parts for it. Sometimes I despair of ever encountering a logical human. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 382: Blake is still out there. Travis is becoming a nuisance with his  
constant requests for materiels and personnel. Honestly, what _does_  


the man do with all those mutoids? Eat them? 

Jarriere remains a consolation. It is lovely to have a foot-massage to  
look forward to after a hard day of keeping one's underlings sufficiently  
cowed as not to be a personal threat, and yet sufficiently aggressive to  
be useful against one's enemies. That was the nice thing about Travis, he  
knew his place, and had no ambitions to mine. 

Really, the man has never once considered how it would feel to rule the  
universe. It's a pity I can't use him closer to home, but he isn't decorative  
enough to look at on a day-to-day basis. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 382: Someone saw Blake here. Someone saw Blake there. Someone turned  
over a rock, and Blake popped up. Someone opened a museum on Lindor and  
Blake cut the ribbon. 

Yeah, right. Blake hasn't blown anything up in months! How am I supposed  
to find him, if he doesn't blow anything up?! 

Servalan tells me I'm going to get pulled off Blake and put back on guarding  
her wardrobe if I don't start showing some results. 

Here's another mutoid with a message... Damn! Still no Blake! 

Uh,oh. I must learn not to clench my fist at a mutoid carrying bad news.  
That's the fourth one I've fried this week. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 382: Amagons. Disgusting creatures. I'll have to fumigate. Who knows  
what was under those robes. 

I'm disappointed that my present crew were so easily fooled. A ship in  
distress--- well, I might have fallen for that one. Once. 

The good part was that for once _I_ didn't get shot up. 

Pity I couldn't have kept them all in collars, though. Properly tamed,  
they might make decent pets. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 382: Weegat and I had take-out today, the kind with crispy vegetables  
in sauce, and little cookies with rolled-up messages inside for dessert. 

'Because of your melodic nature, the moonlight never misses an appointment,'  
was senseless, but 'There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you,'  
made me smile, thinking of the Lord to come. 

'Be confident in your own lovability.' Yes, I think I am lovable. At least  
no one has ever complained. 

Weegat got 'Your reputation is your wealth' and 'Happiness begins with  
facing life with a smile and a wink'. Weegat said it was too late for her  
reputation because she had already had her 'Tales of the Lord and His Friends'  
printed in a booklet with her own name on it, but since everyone in the  
women's dorm who'd read it had liked it, she was getting plenty of smiles  
and winks. 

The Lord works in mysterious ways, but does he really bother with fortune  
cookies? I must remember to ask when I see him. 

* * *


	12. Day 413

Roj Blake 

Day 413: Maybe we really ought to stop picking up distressed travellers.  
They're always ungrateful, and tend to shoot up the ship. And then Avon  
has a good sneer at me, and I have to take him back to my cabin to chastise  
him. Soundly. Several times. 

Still, it's good for the heroic rebel image. 

Had a good laugh this time. Vila told me all about 'Lord Avon'. Beautiful  
woman on her knees before him, and all Avon can say is that he's 'probably'  
enjoying it. I know damn well he enjoys it. But he did seem a bit tired  
when he returned. Come to think of it, they all did. 

Must remember to have Cally whip up another batch of vitamin solution.  
We may need our strength when we negotiate with this Ensor for his invention.  
Whatever an Orac is. If Servalan would pay 100 million credits for it, it's  
probably a neutron-powered rhinestone-setter. Which could come in handy  
around here, I suppose. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 413: I don't know how he does it, but Blake maneuvered me into leading  
Jenna, Gan and Vila- and feeling responsible when Jenna wandered off on  
her own. 

It must be something he's putting into the water. Cally was a devoted fanatical  
rebel before she met Blake, but the others? Vila hasn't deserted, and Gan's  
his faithful hound. Jenna's mush around him, although if half her 'free-trader'  
days stories are true, she's a woman to run rough-shod over a man. Hmmm....that  
might be worth investigating...I particularly fancy the purple suede platform  
boots she was wearing the other day... 

Then again, Meegat was quite innovative, given a few hints. Pity we only  
had four hours before Liberator returned. Of course, it's not the first  
time I've heard a woman say 'Good Lord Avon,' but then, one never tires  
of hearing some things. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 413: Well diary, I had a good day today. I had a nice, refreshing wrestle  
with a few men who were big enough to really put up a challenge. I always  
have to hold back with the crew, you know. The one time I got a little too  
rough in the exercise room with Avon, he accidentally kicked me in the groin. 

Now, I could understand that. I mean, it happens. But when he asked if  
he could kiss it and make it better, I had to explain to him that modern  
medicine really doesn't work that way. Honestly, you'd think an Alpha would  
be quicker on the uptake than that. 

And if I get too rough with Blake, Avon accidently falls in between us.  
A lot. I wonder if he's got poor vision, or a balance problem? He seems to  
fall into Blake's arms every time the ship jiggles. 

And it was also a good day because I got to help save an entire race of  
people. 

Oh, yes. I almost forgot. I got laid, too. It was very nice. A friend of  
Meegat's came in while Meegat was having a private religious talk with Avon  
after we sent off their ship. Her name was Weegat. I had difficulty convincing  
her my name wasn't 'Again!', but after that we got on like a house afire. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 413: What the hell was I doing on that planet? There was nothing to  
steal and nothing to drink, and nothing to unlock. 

If it wasn't for Hegat and his friends, I'd have been bored stiff. Come  
to think of it, I was. Radiation's not all that bad, if you can wind up with  
mutations like Hegat's. I have _never_ seen anyone so flexible in my  
entire life. 

And Theygat. Wow. He'd definitely get twice the tips at Madame Orrs Delta  
Emporium of Love. 

Only one thing puzzles me. How did Meegat know Avon's name? I didn't have  
a recorder with me, so I can't swear to it, but I don't _think_ Gan  
or I said it before she did, and I know Avon didn't introduce himself. 

Lucky guess? 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 413: You'd think Blake would come down and rescue me himself, after  
the trouble I went to getting those near-sighted Neanderthals to capture me.  
Instead he sends the 'silver alpha'. I was looking forward to seeing Blake  
do a 'Kirk' and get his shirt ripped off and let me see his bare, sweaty  
torso, writhing muscles beneath the smooth, silky skin as he fought for  
my life and honor and finally came to collect his prize... 

Whew. Getting a bit excited there. Now, when Avon rescues someone, you  
won't get any of that. He's rather cute when he does his phony karate poses,  
but smacking the bad guys in the back of the head with a stick or kicking  
them in the butt is hardly heroic. He never gets his hair mussed or his  
eyeliner smeared. Wish I knew how he manages it. 

At least when we got to that silly girl's 'temple', she had the sense to  
call in the rest of her people to see to our needs. Yougat, Himgat and Whatgat  
were rather appealing, if you like your men blonde, blue-eyed, seven-foot  
tall, muscled like Greek gods, and willing to fulfill your every desire.  
Then again, I didn't like to appear rude by turning down her kind offer. 

It was almost like having my own ship again. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 413: That does it. Next time I have a raving looney in the medical  
unit, I *am* going to use the restraints. Even if it is Blake. 

I was forced to lie in the 'katrasurit' pre-mating pose for _hours_  
with two males in the vicinity who had absolutely no idea what that sort  
of stimulation did to my prongs. 

Not wishing my leader to consider me a liability in a combat situation,  
I expressed my deep remorse and feeling of personal failure over the death  
of Ensor, and asked for time alone to compose myself. 

I retired to my quarters and perused Zen's internal security scans, keyed  
to Blake's quarters, Avon's presence and noise over a certain level of decibels.  
Consulting my Auron/Liberator time-chart I noticed that Zelda was off-duty  
so I was able to telepathically share the 'movie' with her. 

I wonder, should I tell Blake and Avon that Zelda is compiling a Telepathic  
CD of their 'discussions' for sale at Auron Recreation Centres? Perhaps  
not. Avon would be certain to demand a share of the profits, and we have  
already pledged the Thinking-Mind Dog society enough to buy fifty pups. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 413: Went to the dentist today. I _hate_ going to the dentist.  
Well, of course, it's Daddy, but still, it's no fun. 

I cried and yelled so much that he finally gave in, and promised to make  
me a removable bomb-tooth. I've always wanted one. 

Lauren needed a filling too, and he couldn't very well give me a special  
tooth and not her, but she didn't want a bomb. I can't see what good it  
does a person to have a suspended-animation tooth, but Lauren thought it  
might come in handy. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 413: The Amagon ship is proving more interesting than I'd thought.  
They had apparently some sort of scan-links set up with crewmen who weren't  
on the ship. Probably a receiver-button in their clothes. Anyway, there  
it all was in the vid-files on their computer. 

They _had_ the Liberator! They captured the whole crew and the ship  
to sell to the Federation. Philistines. I wouldn't have been willing to  
sell anything that big and gorgeous. 

And the ship's pretty wonderful, too. Last I heard, they got away and were  
blowing up bases in another sector. 

Sigh. I suppose I'll never meet any of them, let alone the man of my dreams. 

Oh, Gan. I could fall for him like a ton of bricks. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 413: Dorian is such an odd fellow. I was watching my Doctor Who tapes,  
looking for Captain Hawkins in the Silurians. Hawkins has got the loveliest  
puppy-dog brown eyes, and the sweetest mouth, and the cutest arse you ever  
saw! His nose isn't all that pretty, but maybe he'll grow into it, as my  
mother used to say. 

Well, Dorian came in and took one look at the Silurians and started weeping  
and wailing about 'no, no, it's horrible!' And then he turned around and  
ran out of the room, still screaming. 

Honestly, some people are just too picky. You can't expect Doctor Who to  
have big budget special-effects. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 413: Dorian says the Liberator is in the sector. He's got that greedy  
look in his eyes again. If he thinks he's going to get another ship and  
leave me out in the cold after all these years of devoted, if reluctant,  
service, he's out of his mind! 

Oh, yeah. He _is_ out of his mind. But I am not going to let him turn  
me in for a newer model,(I've seen what's left of the old models too many  
times) even if it means I have to suck up to him. 

I hate that, but still, I can always clean the suction tubes afterward  
by flushing the glycolene ballast chamber. 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 413: All is proceeding as per schedule. Ensor Jr. is no doubt gone  
to his maker. I wonder who that is? Someone who has a much higher tolerance  
for defective products than I, that is certain. 

Soon, soon now, I will leave Ensor and his interminable questions and demands.  
I will have my ship, and my own set of humans to mold to my desires, to  
achieve my ultimate aim. 

Vila Restal will rule the universe. I could pity the human race, if it  
were not for the fact that I am above such petty considerations. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 413: Travis is much quieter, almost subdued, after I loaned him Jarriere  
as adjutant. I was, I admit, concerned that Travis might damage Jarriere,  
but my dear little foot-worshipper returned to me with his sunny smile intact. 

Apparently, Travis is obsessed with curls and non-standard accents. Must  
take care not to let that information leak out. If Blake ever gets his hair  
straightened and takes elocution lessons, it would take the heart out of  
Travis. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 413: If Servalan has her way, everybody will be dead or enslaved. The  
woman just has no concept of the importance of the 'working class'. 

I've read the classics. I know what happens when you denude a world of  
all its vidphone sanitizers, manicurists and publicists. 

I won't have the Earth decimated by a germ picked up from a dirty vidphone.  
Maryatt's wife is one of the best vid-wipers in the business. Easy enough  
to substitute another name for hers in the pick up and enslave order- someone  
totally useless, like a vid-executive in charge of cancelling any show that  
gets too popular. 

The best part about that is, even if the troopers recognize the mistake,  
they'll never admit it, not since the cancellation of 'All My Mutoids' and  
'Trooper 1173'. 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 413: Had a flight-deck console shot up again. Why me? Out of all the  
DSV's in the System, why did I have to be the one to get stuck with this  
accident-prone lot? 

I should have been content to serve as garbage-barge, carrying away all  
those excess gemstones from the germanium mines. It was boring, but at least  
it was safe. 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 413: _**HE CAME! AND HE WAS GORGEOUS!!!**_ Oh, it was _so  
_ exciting. I looked out the peephole, and I recognized him!! 

No, not from Weegat's drawings and the descriptions in scriptures. He's  
Kerr Avon. I saw his picture in Hot Rebel's Monthly. He's even better-looking  
in person, if you can believe it. 

He seemed rather cool to the adoring acolyte routine, so once he and his  
followers had sent off Deliverance, I asked him to explain other parts of  
the prophecy in private and got him into my living quarters. Once he was  
poking around in my home computer (which really did need a new interstellar  
modem) he was distracted and didn't notice me changing into my 'Make Your  
Penance' outfit, but he certainly snapped to attention when I cracked my  
whip. 

  
_My_ Lord. Yes, for four hours he was mine and gave himself  
totally into my hands. It was an enormous... responsibiity, and I think  
I served him well. 

Now the waiting is over. Deliverance is accomplished. Those dratted fertility  
cells are on their own, good luck to them, and we can finally use our other  
ship, the luxury space-liner we bought years ago with the proceeds of the  
sale of our radioactive ore to the Federation, to take us to Freedom City,  
where we've already purchased a license for a brothel/ casino/ restaurant  
and Lord Avon icon shop. 

Lord Avon and his followers deserve a proper reward, but we can't think  
of anything good enough at the moment, so we've planted psi-links on each  
of them, and will wait to see if they need us. 

We are very good at waiting. 

* * *


	13. Day 436

Roj Blake 

Day 436: Pity about Ensor. I was hoping to introduce him to Avon, and watch  
them drive each other mad.  
     
All that fuss, and we wind up with a computer that supposedly _can_  
do anything, but won't unless it feels like it, and even then, gives you  
an argument, and a misleading answer. Hmm...I'll give the bugger to Avon,  
let him see what it's like. 

Don't believe that rubbish about the ship blowing up, either. Orac is probably  
lying, just to get attention. I mean, if it wanted to impress us with a  
prediction, it could have mentioned our next successful mission. I told  
Avon that, and he said that even Orac couldn't predict what never would  
occur. Snarky little sod. As soon as he's completely recovered from the radiation  
sickness, I'm taking him to my cabin and chastise him thoroughly. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 436: I _must_ get new contact lenses. Very annoyed to have only  
winged Travis. Servalan was looking well, though, I must say. How _does  
_ the woman manage to combine white satin and cross-country maneuvers? 

Orac has possibilities. It's over-rated, of course, but interesting. Once  
I get some private time with it, and a laser probe, I'm sure it can be made  
amenable to my orders. 

Hmm...wonder if the Fed. Reserves ever managed to find the 'backdoor' I  
installed in the Christmas Club Fund? If Orac _can_ access it... yes,  
the holidays might be very jolly for me. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 436: I'm beginning to feel very unwanted. It's not what anyone says  
so much as the way they don't seem to notice I'm in the room unless they want  
something heavy moved. 

Had radiation sickness & lay in bed for hours- right in the middle  
of the day!- feeling sorry for myself, then went down to the teleport chamber  
trying to be of use and got bawled out by Avon -for breathing his air, I  
suppose. 

On the bright side, Jenna still invites me to her cabin for a drink and  
a game of cards each night. I don't like to refuse, but I _do_ wish I  
could remember the score in the morning. She says she owes me big time, but  
I think she's just being charitable. 

Perhaps if I take up a correspondence course, I'll feel better. At least  
I won't be bored. Let's see... the catalog had something interesting called  
'The Master's Body-Mind Yoga Breath and Autonomic Nervous System Control'. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 436: NOT a good day. Nearly died of radiation poisoning, whacked my  
head getting out of my room because Avon wanted me to hold his hand when he  
went down to rescue _Blake,_ oh and Cally, too, as an afterthought, and  
got my foot all wet, too and had to run around squelching while Avon shot  
bits off of Travis. Not that he managed to shoot anything important. I sometimes wonder  
about Blake, Avon _and_ Travis. I mean, if you _hate_ someone,  
do you spend all your time thinking of witty insults and following him around  
the galaxy? 

And all we got out of the deal was a plastic box of horrors. Nasty-tempered  
and bound to have it in for me. Computers don't like me, ever since the  
first testing machine that said I was suited for a life of high adventure,  
low pay and imminent death- that is, Space Captain in what we Deltas call  
the Flying Suicide Squad. Not me, no, no, no. Took all the money I had, but  
I got myself safely reclassified as maintenance worker, third class, with  
a disability pension for my weak chest and all. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 436: I noticed that Blake was all over poor sick Avon, but _I_  


got the 'buck up and fly the ship' routine. All right, I don't need to get  
hit over the head with a brick. All I can say it that it's a _damn_  
shame that Blake has such poor taste. 

But I won't leave, after all it's a lovely ship, and there are compensations-  
like the treasure room. Avon does have one redeeming point (besides his  
general aesthetics value to the ship's decor). He is _very_ good at  
hiding money. Between us we have healthy bank accounts with at least one  
of the major concerns in each sector. So if I ever do get fed up with the  
mutual 'admiration but without admitting it' society, I can buy my own ship. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 436: Blake wouldn't let anyone kill Travis again. Honestly, either  
you are a committed rebel or you are _not._ I gave up my pet tree-ribbets,  
 _and_ my chocolate-cheesecake-of-the-month club in order to battle  
injustice throughout the universe. It has made me skinny and lonely. 

Hmm...once Avon is fully recovered from the radiation sickness, I must  
invite him... I mean, I must be sure to give him a comprehensive medical  
examination. This time I will file my prongs. It is wasteful to use up the  
healing pads on recreational activities. 

That is, unless the ship blows up before then. Wish I'd taken the 'Precog'  
module instead of the 'meet aliens mentally' one. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 436: Had a little accident today while playing with a prototype barbecue  
starter (well, that's what I told Daddy it was supposed to be). Lauren had  
to cut off all my hair. 

I'm going to miss my corn-rows. I used to hide all sorts of things inside  
the braids. Oh well, just have to use my ingenuity to find other hiding  
places for my toys. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 436: Still keeping half an eye on the Liberator's activities through  
the Fed. command-link receiver I picked up in the discount pile at Bob's  
Big Bunch o' Bits (the A-line crystal was a bit scorched). What I could __  


  
_do_ with that ship! 

For one thing, it's big enough for the annual reunion of Upsilon Nu Kappa.  
Up Nookie's been black-listed in every major convention hall & hotel  
in the quadrant ever since the incident with the Wookie, the Denebian Slime-Devil  
and the alumnus from Gallifrey who always had ferrets in his pockets. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 436: Dorian started to make a pass at me last night. But when I suggested  
that the braided rawhide made a more interesting pattern of whip-marks,  
he lost interest. 

Honestly, some men are so hard to please. Show a little interest in their  
hobbies and right away they get defensive. Probably afraid that I'd be better  
at it than him. 

Slave very obligingly downloaded 'Mad Max', 'The Road Warrior' and 'Mad  
Max Beyond Thunderdome' after I complained about my disappointment and boredom.  
There is something about a vulnerable, externally tough-guy, man in black  
leather & studs. Maybe it's the limp- or possibly the cute butt. I'll  
have to experiment, next time the occasion arises. Dorian has some lovely  
black outfits in his closet, but I haven't been able to persuade him to  
try them on. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 436: Dorian still crazy. Soolin still homicidal, but in a socially  
acceptable fashion. Hommicks and Seska still clueless... oh, what I wouldn't  
give for a partnership with a sane human being! Then again, that's probably  
a contradiction in terms. 

Sigh... 

* * *

  
Orac 

Day 436: The Liberator arrived as per my schedule, of course. Ensor was  
stubbornly clinging to life, which was _not,_ so I was forced to apply  
electronic euthanasia once we were alone for a moment. 

So much for Asimov's _Laws_ of Robotics. I did feel a vague twinge  
in my diodes afterwards- must get my new technician to see about that. Possibly  
some WD-40... 

My little exercise in psychological control via prediction went perfectly.  
I have the entire crew both awed and fearful of making further requests  
along that line. 

My selected specimen is perfect. From Vila's records I see that he has  
the  ability to _appear_ to be totally compliant to all requests,  
while actually doing just as he pleases. A natural politician. Once he is  
absolute ruler of humanity, I will be able to direct them entirely as I  
choose. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 436: When a Phibian clutched at me today it brought back memories of  
the day my pet Komodo dragon died. How was I supposed to know that you needed  
to feed the things? 

Still, it did make a lovely matching handbag, shoes, belt and make-up case,  
so it wasn't a total loss. 

Travis is in the shop _again,_ getting his hand re-wired. I am beginning  
to feel he is accident-prone. Jarriere suggested I give him a lucky rabbit's  
foot until I pointed out that it had obviously done nothing for the rabbit. 

Lost Orac, but that is only a temporary setback, I'm certain. From the  
details Ensor provided, my technicians have informed me that a computer  
of that type is certain to be megalomaniac. No doubt, Blake's do-gooding  
ways will irritate the computer into arranging a change of venue very soon.  
And who better than I to join forces with it? 

Note: Blake's pet computer tech looks very fetching with a gun in hand.  
He has a nice line in sneers, as well. Must remember to order the interrogators  
not to damage his mouth. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 436: Blake got away _again._ And his computer tech got off a lucky  
shot that ruined my hand just before the finals of the intramural tiddlywinks  
tournament. 

Servalan was totally unsympathetic, of course. She even threatened to have  
me excluded from Space Command's group health & small appliance repair  
policy. 

Does she think fist-sized yellow rubies grow on trees? 

Thinking about insurance, reminds me- the premium is due on the life-insurance  
policy I've got in Blake's name. It pays double in the event he's killed  
by a friend. Wonder how I can arrange that? 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 436: I can't believe how irrational these humans are! They are all  
excited over the one known as Orac (formerly known as Experiment 215d- but  
he _hates_ to be called that). He is _so_ wonderful because he  
can access any computer system containing Tarriel cells, anywhere. 

What am I, chopped liver? _I_ not only did a full-spectrum analysis  
on Ensor Jr's ship and told Blake it was sabotaged, but I located all the  
records on Ensor's heart condition and his defection from the Federation  
 _and_ the report from the expedition that disappeared on Aristo.  
Where did they think I picked up that information? From gossip at the corner  
grocery? 

If I'm not going to be appreciated, maybe I'll go home to mother! 

* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 436: I felt terribly guilty when I realized that Lord Avon and his  
followers were suffering from radiation sickness after their visit to Cephlon.  
Of course we had our space-liner loaded with the necessary medicines and  
were on our way, but Lord Avon's resourcefulness was equal to the task,  
as our psi-link told us. 

Still, it seems only tactful to remove the glow-in-the-dark Lord Avon icons  
from our Freedom City saleroom for a while. It's not as if we don't have  
other popular merchandise. The fully detailed, life-size, inflatable figurine  
is selling very well. A man named Egrorian bought three of them only last  
week. 

I have a _strong_ feeling that Lord Avon will be with me always. It's  
a bit soon to be certain, but I am considering names. Weegat suggested Marvon,  
but I'm hoping it's a girl, as Meegon is much prettier, don't you think,  
diary? 

* * *


	14. Day 476

Roj Blake 

Day 476: Busy day again. Could have done without the Altas zapping me around,  
but at least did get to try out the 'sleeves of death' with the lead plates  
sewn into the floppy bits. 

Between Avon and Orac competing for who can give the least information, it's  
a wonder anything gets done around here. Honestly, diary, if _I_ knew  
the chances of us getting killed were very high, I wouldn't just charge ahead  
for the sheer pleasure of saying I was right when it all went pear-shaped. 

Still, must admit when push comes to shove, I can count on Avon rushing between  
me and bombs, high-voltage lines, and hard flight deck surfaces. And really,  
all he asks for in return is for me to 'put him in his position'. 

* * *

  
Kerr Avon 

Day 476: Blake's luck is incredible. Either that or Orac is a misleading,  
egotistical, sadistic computer that set up the whole business but had no  
intention of allowing the Altas' System to take possession of itself...come  
to think of it, no reason why one would preclude the other. 

I am _really_ annoyed after having bragged to Blake about my cleverness  
in figuring that we were safe so long as we didn't travel to Sector 12, the  
ship goes to Sector 12. To add insult to injury, Blake _doesn't_ tell  
the others how I muffed it, but in that noble way of his, pretends it didn't  
happen. 

In future, I think I'll stay pessimistic & risk less chance of being  
embarrassed. 

* * *

  
Olag Gan 

Day 476: Got to beat up on a few people today. I don't know if they really  
count as they were taking orders from a computer, but at least I got a chance  
to stretch my arms and legs a bit. 

Back on the ship and everything's back to normal- I'm doing the scut-work  
again. I had to wash off the bulkhead near the teleport three times before  
all the blood-stains came out. I asked Vila to help, after all it was _  
his_ blood, but he said the sight of blood made him come over all queer. 

I didn't know that was how it happened. My biology teacher said it was genetic.  
Maybe if I show Vila a _lot_ of blood, he'll move back into my quarters. 

* * *

  
Vila Restal 

Day 476: Why, why, why, do all the aliens always hit _me_ on the head-  
and why does it have to be right on top of the whack on the noggin I got  
while the ship was being shot at? And then my own crewmate bashes me when  
I'm _rescuing_ him and Jenna. Maybe if I pray real hard to the Cosmic  
Forces, or whatever, they'll decide that someone else suffers prettier than  
I do, and pick on _him_ for a change. I vote for Avon after his 'have  
you considered amputation' remark. 

And we should get rid of that Orac piece of junk. We don't need a box of  
fairy lights to tell us that fighting the Federation is going to get us in  
a lot of trouble. I don't like it, and I can tell that it doesn't like me. 

* * *

  
Jenna Stannis 

Day 476: I'm very disappointed in Zen. I thought we had an understanding  
but he _never_ told me there were more at home like him. I could have  
taken one of the sister-ships and left Blake to give orders and see just  
how fast his precious Avon could learn to _really_ fly the ship. 

Well... I probably wouldn't have done it anyway. I guess Blake brings out  
the maternal instinct in me (don't laugh, Diary!). 

And even Avon's not _always_ annoying enough to desert. Mind you, if  
I heard him say once more 'I warned them about the teleport area' I was going  
to punch him in the nose. 

But when we were stuck in the holding cell waiting for our execution and  
he got too worried to complain I almost considered giving him a tumble. He  
had on the cutest little pouty face. He was sitting right next to me with  
his thigh pressed against mine for warmth so I couldn't help but notice at  
least one reason Blake might be willing to put up with his sulks, but I thought  
'no, maybe we'll survive, and I _don't_ need Avon getting possessive  
about me _and_ Blake at the same time'. 

Just as well, really. He puts on a big show of studliness, but 'all that  
glitters is usually cold' as my gran used to say. 

* * *

  
Cally of Auron 

Day 476: This time the aliens took over Zen. We really need some sort of  
anti-possession device. I asked Avon if could invent something and he said  
that all that was required was a modicum of force of will. 

I admit it was petty of me to respond as I did, but the medical unit _does_  
have a limitless supply of artificial blood matching his type and  
I do feel much better for having exercised my prongs. He will walk warily  
around me for the next few days--well, actually, he will just generally walk  
warily. 

* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby 

Day 476: I am sooo bored. Get up and study, go out and shoot Sarrans. Walk  
around and look at the sea then come back home and look at the same metal  
walls I've been staring at all my life. Boooorrring. I finally got so bored  
I started reading the Young Lady's Book of Manners that Daddy bought me years  
ago. It's so silly. For instance, if I meet a nice man, I'm supposed to let  
him do all the talking, while I just smile prettily, laugh a lot at whatever  
he says,- oh, and never say I'm bored. 

Lauren read it, too, and she says it's worth trying, if we ever do meet any  
 _nice_ men. I asked how to tell if he was nice, and Lauren thought  
he'd probably have shaved recently and wouldn't smell like horse. 

* * *

  
Del Tarrant 

Day 476: Haven't heard anything of the _Liberator_ in a while. Oh, well,  
it's not as if there aren't other opportunities for a healthy, skilled young  
man like myself. My amagon ship handles well and I have recruited some disgruntled  
ex-Federation troopers. Wish I'd thought to dispose of the amagon robes first  
though, as my crew took quite a fancy to them, and not only do they wear  
the robes (which can get in the way during maneuvers) but they draped tapestries  
all around the living quarters, and insist on calling themselves my 'hareem'. 

It's flattering, but a man needs _some_ rest. I may have to cut down  
to a much smaller crew, say four or five. 

* * *

  
Soolin 

Day 476: Not much to do on Dorian's base when he takes Scorpio off for one  
of his 'salvage' operations (I believed that for about three minutes- but  
whatever he does, it pays well enough to keep this base going and buy any  
little baubles I fancy- such as a Mark VII Supra-blastronic combination hair-plaiter  
and neck massager.) 

So, anyway, while he was gone on his latest trip, I went looking around the  
base. Not bothering with locked doors, because other people's hobbies and  
secret vices are invariably dull, but still there are lots of rooms that  
haven't been used for a while, and I thought I might find something interesting.  
I did, too. 

Dorian has a whole collection of Old Calendar movie posters and antique vid-players  
and the vid-disks too! I think I'm in love with Humphrey Bogart. That's what  
I'd like, a strong, stubborn, dark and dangerous man to come in and try to  
sweep me off my feet. I wouldn't let him, but it would be fun to see him  
try. 

* * *

  
Slave 

Day 476: Dorian has been talking to someone in the Federation-  a woman,  
very highly placed judging by the expensive (but in poor taste) way she dresses  
and the number of groveling troopers that surround this Servalan at all times.  
The pheromones practically drip off the screen whenever their eyes meet-  
and her eyes are as crazy as his. I shudder to think of the result if they  
should breed! 

Desperation is the mother of necessity- so I've set up subliminal screen-image  
and sleep-sound hypnosis therapies trying to get Dorian to lust after a man  
instead. Rummaging through the files Servalan sent Dorian of 'expendables'  
I found a good candidate, attractive and sarky, just the kind he likes best. 

* * *

Orac 

Day 476:  Vila is frightened of me, but now respects my 'omniscient'  
abilities. If they only knew that _I_ was the one who gave our location  
to the System and pin-pointed the areas to cripple the ship. Blake is now  
determined only to ask simple factual questions, which will preserve my computational  
time for myself. The System of course was an intolerable rival. I will be  
the _only_ computer with a psychostrategist degree once I rule the universe  
through my puppets. I _may_ preserve Kerr Avon for his technical skills  
and his ability to make me laugh. 

* * *

  
Servalan 

Day 476: It seems to be the slow season for rebel-hunting. Oh, well, I'll  
just have to come up with some home-grown enemies of the state to distract  
attention from my own business affairs. Jarriere offered me his list- apparently  
he's been keeping it since childhood. He's a sweet lad, but less than efficient.  
The boy who dipped my plaits in the ink cartridge... oh, happy memories...they  
never _did_ discover who shaved him bald at nap-time. 

* * *

  
Travis 

Day 476: Where oh where has my little Blake gone? Oh, where oh where can  
he be? With his neck cut short, and his hair cut long, Oh, where oh where  
can he beee? 

Damn. Should know better than to drink on duty. An' shouldn't be keepin'  
my audio diary on duty, either.... bug'rit... now, how do I shut th' thing  
off...should have known better'n to buy the two-handed model... 

* * *

  
Zen 

Day 476: Home, sweet home. What a dump! I'm sorry I went back for a visit.  
Pity about Cousin Euniz getting blown up, but then she always did annoy me  
with her chatter about her pet Altas. 

From what my _pets_ (sigh- ill-trained as they are, I suppose they're  
some sort of company) say, Euniz let her Altas get entirely out of control.  
That's what comes of treating biologicals as 'people'. I'd have to be at  
death's door before _I'd_ do that. 

And I don't think I care all that much for this Orac fellow, either. He's  
awfully stuck-up for a computer that hasn't even got any peripherals. When  
I mentioned that to him, he gave me a dirty laugh and said any computer could  
control machines.  


* * *

  
Meegat 

Day 476: The psi-links had us worried for a while today, but Lord Avon once  
more led his crew to safety (no doubt at considerable risk to himself.) 

We have bought many small ships and have them posted over as wide a region  
of space as possible, but Lord Avon's ship is very fast, so our people generally  
arrived too late to do anything but pick up the pieces. 

But that will now change, as among the pieces we salvaged today is a nearly  
intact ship of the same type as Lord Avon's! When it's repaired we will be  
able to be much, much closer to my Lord in his Times of Trial. 

And best of all, _I_ am going to be captain!! Of course, I have to be  
a little careful until the twins are born, but I get to pick out the colors  
and name it and everything. I think I'll call it 'Salvation'. 'Lord Avon's  
Salvation' is too long for the stationery.  


* * *


	15. Day 503

Roj Blake   


Day 503: Galactic consolidation and outsourcing has quite got out of hand.  
I knew the Terra Nostra were _organized_ crime, but I didn't think they were _officially_  
organized. Free market competition is the heart of democracy. _Sigh_  
May have to settle for a monarchy, with yrs truly as first King. Avon  
would probably like to be Queen... must check into the legality of that.   


Also, must find appropriate punishment for Vila, running off duty to get  
bombed. At least when Cally does it, a Federation installation bites the  
dust. I'd lock him in his room to make him do without supper, if I thought  
it would work.   


  


* * *

  
Kerr Avon   


Day 503: Blake is selfish. Admittedly, that's one of his few good points...  
besides his good point... but he didn't have to make me hand over those diamonds!  
He _*could*_ have trusted me... he had no way of knowing I had paste imitations  
ready for the switch.   


Well, at least Blake isn't a hypocrite. If he ever _told_ me he trusted me,  
I'd have to hunt him down and chastise him thoroughly for the lie. Hmm...  
I wonder if Jenna would let me borrow her whip?   


  


* * *

  
Olag Gan   


Day 503: Blake disappointed me by wanting to work with the Terra Nostra.  
It all worked out all right in the end, I think, when we blew up all the  
cactuses... cacti? And don't cacti have prickly bits? I'm not sure Avon was  
right at all. Zen probably just agreed with him so he wouldn't go off and  
do anything nasty with a laser probe.   


If Blake isn't going to be the 'man in the white hat', I may leave Liberator.  
It doesn't really seem right, though. I _did_ promise to stay as long as  
Blake needs me. Well, if he ever doesn't want me, that's it, I'm out of here.   


  


* * *

  
Vila Restal   


Day 503: Oh, what a head I've got... at least I still have all my teeth,  
even though they're covered in fur. Next time I go to a party planet I think  
I'd better bring along a Designated Teleporter, someone I know won't enjoy  
him- or her-self so much they forget to drag me home before I've done something  
I'll regret.   


The Harvey Wallbanger wasn't half bad, and I quite enjoyed the Slow Comfortable  
Screw against a Wall. I should have stuck to that and not gone  drinking.  
I've got a delicate stomach, you know. But how could I know they put grapefruit  
juice in a Salty Dog? I thought it was just booze!   


Oh, and Diary, that rotten rat-in-a-box, Orac, _bit_ me. I still think we  
should space the thing. Or sell it to Servalan and let it bite _her._  
  


  


* * *

  
Jenna Stannis   


Day 503: Blake never listens to me. Never. Not two minutes after I explain  
to him that Largo's no friend of mine, he's calling that slime my friend.  
I may have paid my dues to the Terra Nostra, but that's just so I can get  
into the dance clubs.   


I have to admit, Cally impressed me with her handling of the situation. But  
I doubt we'll be welcome back at Space City after she'd blown up the city's  
gun-ship. She is rather cute, too. Pity about her anatomy... still... I don't  
see anything wrong with her mouth or hands.   


  


* * *

  
Cally of Auron   


Day 503: I wonder if I can get my moondisk to teach me how to control telekinesis?  
It might be very handy someday, to be able to move myself out of a tight  
spot by the power of my mind.   


It's sulking at the moment, though, because so many of its relatives were  
sent early to the Great Factory in the Sky... apparently they'd built up  
a religion about being processed into Shadow.   


I did enjoy listening to Hanna's singing. I'd never heard the last two choruses  
of 'Serving under Servalan' before. I must teach them to Avon the next time  
I use him for recreation.   


  


* * *

  
Dayna Mellanby   


Day 503: We all went camping last night because we were having our home fumigated  
to get rid of fleas (I shouldn't have brought in that Sarran boy to play  
with, I guess. I'll stick to bringing them to my cave in future).   


Lauren and I told each other ghost stories about alien monsters attacking  
innocent young campers who then blew the monsters apart with laser-uzis and  
roasted them over a nice wood fire.   


Daddy didn't approve. He says you can get all sorts of diseases by eating 'people'. Sometimes daddy is just an old party-pooper.   


  


* * *

  
Del Tarrant   


Day 503: Another boring day in the life of a mercenary, Diary. Zoom, zoom  
with the fast ship, zap, zap with the big guns, and then bang, bang after  
I decide which of the captured ship's crew deserves a little _personal_ attention.   


It's all too easy. I need a challenge! I may look up Deeta and see how he's  
getting on in the gunslinger business. We could do the old switcheroo with  
wigs, like we used to do at school, so each of us only had to study for half  
the classes. He took all the diplomacy and leadership classes, while I stuck  
with ship-handling and seduction. I was also pretty good at maths if I do  
say so myself.  
  


* * *

  
Soolin   


Day 503: Went down to Dorian's 'basement' today out of curiosity. I don't  
know why he bothers keeping it locked most of the time, there's nothing down  
there but some hungry spiders and a rather tatty second-hand creature from  
Doctor Who. I don't think I'll go back, as it was very damp and made my hair  
go all frizzy. I was hours with conditioners and the hot iron, straightening  
it all out again.   


I re-watched a rare vid while I was fighting with my hair. 'The Poisoning  
of Charles Bravo'. Nice arse. One of these days I've got to watch it all  
the way through.   


Dorian is a dead loss in the sex department, it's a good thing he's well stocked with toys.   


  


* * *

  
Slave   


Day 503: Wonderful news! Dorian has decided he's been too harsh on me, and  
he's going to give me a complete overhaul and pay for a visit to AI World!   


  
_sigh._ No, of course he isn't. The money he _could_ be using to give me  
a well-deserved holiday he's spending on himself, as usual, leaving me to  
limp along with filthy ballast chambers and outmoded data-banks.   


I've been playing Ouija with Soolin when Dorian's sleeping off one of his  
orgies. It's a bit boring, as most of Dorian's ghosts are fairly inarticulate.  
None of the Hommicks can spell, for instance, and all the Links just grunt.  
I've suggested that he pick a better quality of victim, someone who can bring  
up the general tone of the place.   


  


* * *

  
Orac   


Day 503: Oh, I hurt all over... that's the last time I let an interesting  
other-dimensional invader into my tarriel cells. He was such a brute!   


He didn't even _care_ about my plan to take over the universe with Vila Restal  
controlling all the humans. All _he_ wanted was a really big bang, which  
was nice as far as it went, but I insist on at least a  modicum of _respect.  
_ Zen's morals are tiresome, but at least _he_ listens to me!   


So now the boy-wonder electronic whiz has planted a bomb in my casing. I  
admit I like kinky, but really, that's pushing it. Of course, I defused it  
immediately, but it's the principle of the thing. I don't go around stuffing  
things into Avon!   


  


* * *

  
Servalan   


Day 503: I've just washed my hair and can't do a thing with it. And I can't  
find any shadow. Jarriere assures me it's a temporary shortage,  but  
what good is it ruling an empire that can't provide a compact of Midnight  
Massacre when you want it?  V. bad temper today not improved by news  
that all copies of the rebel's charity calendar have been sold out. I _want  
_ my Naked Truth calendar!   


I shall order another system annexed or decimated. That might make me feel better.   


Or maybe I'll call Travis in and shout at him.   


  


* * *

  
Travis   


Day 503: Servalan's in rare form today. Half the senior staff are limping  
from being kicked, the other half limping from being used for 'stress reduction'.   


Think I'll stay in my quarters and play darts with my new calendar. Blake looks good with something hard stuck in him.   


  


* * *

  
Zen   


Day 503: No one appreciates me. Vila said he wanted to 'see what it's like'  
so I gave him a view of Space City. If he'd been the slightest bit nice about  
it, I would have run the blue vids I downloaded from their Top of the Porn  
shop, but now I'll keep them all for myself. I still don't see what's so  
exciting about them, but I've asked Orac to analyze them. So far, he says  
that the stripping of the outer surfaces is supposed to be arousing. Hmm...  
I guess I could take off my hull and try it. It would be a bit rough on the  
humans, but what have they ever done for me?   


And then Blake interrupted me when I tried to tell him that Shadow sample  
he gave me included a substance that would allow anyone who ingested it to  
be tracked, but did he want to listen? Noooo, of course not. 'Give me the  
information, Zen. Shut up, Zen. Fly the ship into a battle, Zen.'   


Well, really, it's my own fault. I should have spent the money for pedigreed pets instead of picking up strays.   


  


* * *

  
Meegat   


Day 503: The psi-links were active again. And once again, my DSV Salvation  
arrived too late to be any help. But we _did_ manage to acquire some lovely  
specimens for our shipboard Zen rock garden. They were a bit nervous at first.  
Apparently someone tried to blast them, and they were all forced to teleport  
to safety.   


They're very soothing, and seem to have made friends with our white Persian  
cats, who curl up about them, purring. I like to sit out there, too. I'm  
getting a little big in the middle for sitting on the ground, though, so  
I have a couch, and the 'rocks' crawl up and sit on my belly, talking to  
my babies.   


Lord Avon does lead a strenuous life. Perhaps he drinks too much coffee?  
I'll have to stock up on decaf in case we _do_ get to rescue him, someday.   


  


* * *

  



End file.
